Marine chronometer
by Twinkinderbueno
Summary: It's a feline instinct. When they are on the verge of death, cats tend to hide themselves far away from everyone's eyes, willing to meet their fate alone. Of course, their beloved ones would not tolerate it. It's a questioning of death, life and eternity... A dark!fic LuNa, slight ZoRo. Very angsty, dark themes and maybe...Horror? Alternative ends.
1. Prologue: The kitten hiding to die

**Note :** This is a dark!fic so…If you expect a light-hearted fic... Please...Avert your eyes or go check my other stories... xD

I'm not english, but I'll do my best to improve my sloppy writing!

**Pairings:** LuNa, slight ZoRo (Post-timeskip)

**Disclaimers:** I do not own OP. (If I did, well Luffy and Nami would be together already *sbaff—*)

Let's go on a journey together! :)

**Marine chronometer**

Prologue: _The kitten hiding to die_

Luffy knew that something was wrong and he hated it so much. The bad feeling was threatening to kill his merriment as it was slowly but surely crawling inside him; his mind was becoming obsessed by it.

He had never felt more ecstatic than when he met all his nakamas again. Their long awaited reunion had been a moment filled with excitement and mirth; but behind her laugh and joy he had seen what she was trying to camouflage—oh, she hid it very well, it was almost unnoticeable. At first sight.

He was no idiot when it came to perception of things. Her burgundy orbs were clouded and the smile which used to be prettier than Makino's was crooked. He stayed silent, instead he observed.

During the day, she'd be the navigator he'd always known, fierce, strong and feisty, commanding the ship like a queen with her iron fist. But once the sun set and when everyone was _supposed_ to be asleep, her shell would break.

She had spent countless nights wide awake, a proof that she wasn't the only one frightened by her inner demons and that wasn't something he wanted to share in common with her. During the night, she'd go secretively out of the women's quarters and stay beside her tangerines orchards, gazing skywards as if she was praying with eyes full of sadness; an instant of solitude that spoke volumes.

It's been like that since they reunited a month ago.

He never meant to spy on her though, he wasn't a voyeur. But he felt concerned and couldn't tear his eyes off her when she was strangely behaving like that.

Thus far, he had done nothing; howbeit he had tried. He wanted to help her, for he'd break anything in the world in order to cheer up one of his crewmates.

Last night, he had witnessed her _crying_ quietly. He had decided that he couldn't be a bystander anymore and had walked to her, gently placing a protective hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong Nami?" He had asked softly.

She had shoved his hand away immediately and had rapidly stood up; half of her face covered by her orange strands. Biting her lips, she had left wordlessly, not daring to look at him.

She had refused his help.

Undeniably, Luffy hated it.

* * *

Nami had finally finished writing it. Her letter that was saying "Sayonara" to them. She was a coward; she couldn't face her nakamas, or him. She felt that it was far too unfair; they had just gotten back together…

But why did she even come back? She regretted it.

From that day on Weatheria, when she had learnt that she was doomed, that it was incurable, she should have known.

She shouldn't have returned to them.

She naively hoped that it would just fade away once she would be surrounded by her crewmates, her family. It had only gotten worse and she barely could hide it from them, Luffy had caught her breaking down last night, he wouldn't twice. She had to leave.

It would break their hearts to see her agonizing slowly; they wouldn't be able to do anything.

She put the letter on her office; it was clearly visible for them to spot it tomorrow.

Then, she left in a hurry.

Time? She didn't have it anymore.

* * *

Short prologue, I know...


	2. Chapter 1: Departure or betrayal

**Note**: Thanks for the first reviews guys !:)

_Chapter 1: Departure…Or betrayal_

The air was mild and the wind was warm, it was a peaceful summer night. A serene silence had taken place on the Sunny-Go, everyone had gone to sleep. Only the sound of waves splashing gently every now and then could be heard.

A raven-haired man was gazing at the vast dark sky above him, lying on the wooden floor next to the tangerine groves with his arms folded behind his head, wearing an unreadable expression.

He was waiting for her. He had a good excuse for being awake, it was his shift to be on watch duty and even if she could be against the idea of him being there, he wouldn't budge, for he would definitely get some answers; he would pull out the captain card if needed.

But tonight, she was very late.

He was there since several hours already, yet it didn't look as if she was going to come soon. He was deeply confused, the gears of his mind were trying to solve this mystery but the tiredness amplified by the boredom was causing his eyelids to slowly become heavy, the soothing citrus scent and the halcyon atmosphere didn't help either. His eyes closed by themselves as he gradually dozed off reluctantly.

* * *

Nami scanned her office one last time. She was leaving everything behind; all her maps that she had drawn studiously, the logbook that she had started to write since the beginning of their journey and her log pose would stay here...She was abandoning her dream.

Did she have the choice? No.

Luck was on her side, her rubbery captain was on watch duty instead of Robin with her assassin skills, this woman could see _everything_ that happened on the ship and Luffy was well known to slack off this annoying task, he'd rather raid the fridge than watch for any menacing enemies. Besides, it was four in the morning; the chances that he was still awake were brim. If he was...She'd do anything to avoid a confrontation between them.

She only had with her a big backpack filled with Beli bills, some clothes, a bottle of water, stolen provisions and two framed pictures; one of Bellemere, Nojiko and Genzo and the other of her crew, she didn't need anything else.

...Except maybe a few tangerines, she didn't how long it would take until she'd reach an island and a part of her treasure with her would be somehow comforting.

Quietly, she tiptoed to her orchards and was quite startled when she discovered Luffy, snoring loudly with a bubble coming out of his noise. She frowned as she pondered why he was here but she had to be fast unless if she wanted to face him. She didn't want to at all.

She was plucking delicately some ripe fruits and putting them in her bag when she heard a muffled sound behind. Alarmed, she turned her head instinctively. No, he was still sleeping. She placed a hand on her chest as if it would calm down her irregular heartbeat but to no avail, she was seriously scared.

"...Nami..."

She spun around and saw Luffy's features becoming pained. His brows were furrowing and his jaw clenching but he was still deep into his slumber. The navigator had always been a worrywart, and without second thoughts she had crouched down beside him, studying closely his face. It seemed that he was having a nightmare and she was included in this one.

"...Don't cry Nami..."

Nami's frightened expression softened. Ah, even in his sleep he was still being her overly protective captain...

"...I'm here..."

She knew that. He'd always be there for his nakamas, that's why she loved him and would follow him anywhere. She bit sorely her lips...She couldn't anymore. Swiftly, her body moved on its own and she leaned forwards, daring to do what she had desired since a long time ago; she gave him a tender peck on his cheek. Yes, she truly loved him.

This was the main reason why she had to go. He didn't deserve to see one of his friends or relatives dying before his eyes without being able to do a single thing. Nobody did. Unfortunately, it did happen to him and she had cried a lot when she learned about Ace, imagining how horrible it must had been for him...

It had become a priority for her to check if he was alright after that, she had even forgotten her disease for a while...When they reunited, he flashed her his sunny trademark grin and his goofy antics had stayed the same and just like that, she was relieved.

No, she wasn't stupid and she had experienced the same tragedy before, she knew that this pain wouldn't vanish in a blink of an eye but he was surrounded by his family and they would give him the willpower to go on and become stronger.

How could she ruin his returned happiness? She had no right to.

She'd leave before it could occur.

Many words were blocked and burning in her throat. She wanted to stay and be a part of his adventures, heck, he made her love the pirate life, he was her everything, she was devoted to him; but she had to run far away from him, even Chopper couldn't cure it and she'd rather die alone than crush his heart. Maybe they'd think of her as a traitor, but nothing could stop her.

"_I'm sorry." _She couldn't say it.

She kissed him again. On the lips this time. It was a gentle and chaste action, yet it meant a lot to her.

Her last one.

"_Sayonara, little king."_

Nami shook her head as she held back the tears threatening to fall, otherwise she'd break into loud cries and wake him up. She softly put a tangerine next to him then grabbing her bag, she left silently and with the Shark Submerge III submarine, she disappeared into the night. This was too easy. Luffy had only slept ten minutes, but that was enough time, that was all she needed. In order to leave them and especially him, Nami threw away a weight on her shoulders, something awfully too heavy–her heart.

It was summer, but it was fucking cold.

When Luffy shot up awake he sat up abruptly and scrutinized his surroundings. It was still nighttime. With a finger, he caressed his lips and then licked them. It was weird; there was a sweet flavor that he couldn't pinpoint. His eyes fell upon something, a round and orange fruit that adored Nami was placed there, as a gift.

Although he clearly hated the fact that he had fallen asleep, he couldn't help but smile sheepishly at the small gesture. His navigator had found him and hadn't wanted to disturb him...

At least, it showed that she had opened a little, because she wouldn't share her treasure for no reason and she didn't pummel him either. Maybe tomorrow she'd explain everything to him.

Grinning, he grasped the tangerine and went back to the crow's nest, his crew would scold him if he was caught doing everything but his task. Moreover it was much comfier up there.

* * *

_Next morning..._

The smell of Sanji's cooking was invading the air and alluring the mugiwaras to the kitchen. Of course, the first to barge inside was the shitty captain.

"Hello Sanji! Meat! Meat! Meat!" He chanted gleefully as he quickly sat down.

The blonde chef grunted, how many times did he have to tell him? "Wait for the ladies!" He scolded.

Gradually, almost everyone came in and sat around the table happily. Sanji had really improved during these two years, his cooking was worth a five stars restaurant's and the crew was still very elated, they couldn't wait to explore the new world together.

Sanji chewed his cigarette when he saw the marimo and Robin-chan entering the room at the same time–_again. _There obviously was something fishy between those two (he was sure of it) and he didn't like it. No one bit.

Franky and Usopp were chatting about new inventions and such, Brook was making many skull jokes which caused Chopper to giggle a lot, breakfast was going to be normal. _Almost_.

"Gimme more meat Sanji!" Begged the hamster while gulping down his steack.

Sanji arched his eyebrow, "Can't you wait for Nami-swan?" He really had to kick some manners into this glutton, gosh.

"But she's taking too much time! I'm so hungry~!" Whined Luffy as he showed him his empty plate, his stomach's call for food was too strong.

The swordsman interjected, "Why should we wait for the sea witch? Maybe she overslept." and began to eat his rice balls.

As a reply, Sanji delivered him a deathly glare.

"I go get her." Said Robin as she used her powers and duplicated herself (thanks to her training, this was pretty useful). The clone walked out of the room and the archeologist continued to sip her balmy coffee tranquilly.

She and Zoro were sharing a secret relationship and would spend nights together in the aquarium bar away from their crewmates' eyes, they liked their intimacy too much to talk about it; that's why now Nami had the women's quarters for herself most of the time.

Everyone started to eat then, for they were tempted by all the dishes on the table and Luffy was going to wolf down everything at this rate.

Robin blinked. Her clone had entered their room but Nami wasn't there as she expected. Maybe she was taking a shower? She decided to check the bathroom.

"Luffy! Don't steal my food you bastard!" Snarled Usopp as he protected his plate from the endless pit that was Luffy's belly.

The monkey's spirit was merrier today due to Nami's present that had been yummy and the fact that she had surely overslept (she slept, it reassured him). He extended his arms–

"You better not try mugiwara!" Roared Franky before finishing his food in a hurry. Every meal was a war against their captain whom liked to think that all the food belonged to him.

Robin frowned severely. She wasn't in the bath either. She examined the whole ship—where was Nami..?

"The food is delicious Sanji-san, even though I don't have a stomach—"

"Everyone." She sternly cut off Brook.

The mugiwaras looked up, reporting their attention to the hana hana no user.

Her brown eyes were widening as a drop of sweat rolled over her forehead. The usually placid woman seemed scared of something.

"I don't find Nami." She announced with a hint of fear in her voice.

Luffy's fork stopped midway.

There was a shocked silence before everyone rushed through the door, even Zoro had stood up. In a span of a few minutes, every room was quickly investigated but their orange-haired nakama was nowhere to be seen, same for her sorcery clima-tact.

They were seriously panicked; Nami was ranked number one the list of the most abducted member of the crew…What if someone had hurt her in the middle of the night?

Their growing suspicions ended when they entered her office. On the desk were placed in evidence her log pose (she'd never take it off) and her letter. They approached the piece of furniture with inquietude; they had a bad presentiment about it.

They were right.

Robin took the paper with a slight tremor in her hands, she recognized Nami's neat writing, meaning it was obviously her who wrote it and commenced to read it out loud.

"_When you will find this letter, I will be long gone."_

The consternated looks on everyone's face spoke for them. They mutely listened to her, although they dreaded the rest of the letter.

"_I know it's so sudden but I quit being a pirate, I'm leaving the crew. I want to live an ordinary life."_

Luffy's pupils shrank considerably.

"_I left my log pose and my maps for your next navigator and knowing the captain I'm sure he'll find another easily, someone competent who will lead you to Raftel safely."_

The mugiwaras rapidly became horrified.

"_I wish you the best but doubtlessly, you all will achieve your dreams even if I'm not there anymore."_

Sanji's cigarette fell on the floor and Luffy balled his trembling fists.

"_I'm not worried; you'll keep moving forwards. This is the end of our friendship, go on without me. And Luffy,"_

The captain's eye twitched when it was directly addressed to him.

"_You'll become the greatest pirate king, I know you will."_

"_Sayonara."_

And this was the end of her letter. She didn't say anything else, no explications, no apologizes... Everyone was too dumbstruck and remained quiet, they didn't know what to say and the words wouldn't come out anyway.

Enraged, Luffy forcefully punched the wall on the side without warning, his face distorted in anger…And torment.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs, his heart aching gravely.

* * *

I'm sorry, I did warn you it wouldn't be all rosy x).

Many Nami haters say that she's a self-centered bitch, only loving tangerines and money, but she's one of the most compassionate member of the crew, and she's strong, she can handle trials on her own when she needs to.


	3. Chapter 2: Flaws, lost, unforgiving

**Note** : For those who had read my first story, the writing style kinda changed eh ?

"_...And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,_

_and all this devotion was rushing over me,_

_and the questions of heaven, for a sinner like me,_

_but the arms of the ocean deliver me..." (Never let me go – Florence and The machine)_

Nope, sorry, I love placing music everywhere x).

...And so it really begins. Nakamaship for the win!

_Chapter 2: Flaws; lost and unforgiving_

_**Several hours earlier...**_

Somewhere in the abyss of the ocean, a shark shaped submarine was racing throughout the dark water. There was nothing to see, there wasn't the slightest light but the pilot wasn't focused on her surroundings anyway. She didn't care about that and wasn't preoccupied by the tears streaming down either.

"Where are you going exactly?" Asked a voice with a reproachful tone.

Nami sucked in her breath sharply and bit her lips. She couldn't respond, she didn't know at all.

"Why don't you have faith in your nakamas? You know I'll hate it."

She glanced at the passenger next to her. His arms were folded over his chest and his disappointed stare was stuck on her. It was a rare sight to see, usually he'd wear his big smile, play dumb or laugh and joke around her. Though his presence was always annoying, it was still better than _this_ look.

Lowering hers, she answered between two sobs, "I don't even have faith in myself."

His discontented expression saddened deeply. "No matter what state you're in, you'll always be gold to me Nami. You should know that."

She twitched at those words then met his eyes full of chagrin. Abruptly, she took the little den den mushi in front of her and threw it against the wall, crashing it into pieces. He was haunting her with his black orbs and his straw-hat and now he dared to tell her off? Why couldn't he just become a memory?! Why did he have to come back?!

Hiding her face with both hands, her cries grew louder as spasms appeared."For a hallucination, you're fucking bothersome!"

Then, she felt it. The dreadful dizziness was creeping in her head _again_.

She blacked out.

* * *

_**Present time...**_

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

The infuriated and fuming nineteen-year old teenager hastily stormed off the office by destroying the door with another outraged fist, leaving his crewmates in their appalled state who were frozen on the spot. After reading her letter, they all had the sensation that they had been punched badly–This was a sucker punch.

His mind wouldn't register it. Frantically, he began to run like crazy on the ship, checking every room for a second time. It was a joke. It had to be a cheap, sickening joke.

But no, Nami wasn't playing hide and seek; the missing submarine was the confirmation that she truly was gone.

He was beyond furious against her. Leaving like that, so suddenly with such crappy words. Living an ordinary life? Ending their friendship? BULLSHIT! How could she?! And foremost, how could she dare to think of them replacing her?!

He was also mad at himself. He knew that something was wrong with her, yet he hadn't done anything. He let her escape before she could explain last night because he had fallen asleep. If only he hadn't...His heart was torn between remorsefulness, resentment and dysphoria, he was battling an inner war.

And there was another reason for him to be like that. _"Because it's Nami." _This was impossible to calm down, he needed to vent his anger.

"WHY?!" He shrieked as he whirled around and kicked brutally the mast, "WHY?!" He wrecked the railings on his side with multiple punches, "WHY NAMI, _WHY?!_" The gomu gomu no user kept damaging everything on his way.

Hearing the tantrum, the mugiwaras hurried to him. They were as distraught as their captain, but they had to make him stop.

"He's gonna destroy Sunny!" Yelled Franky, alarmed.

Zoro rushed behind him and caught both of his arms, "STOP IT!" He barked.

Luffy was struggling to break free, gesticulating as if he was out of his mind and even the muscular swordsman could barely restrain him.

"Dos fleur!" Shouted Robin before two arms sprouted and grabbed Luffy's legs.

Baring his fangs, Luffy's behavior worsened, "LET GO OFF ME!" He screeched.

Zoro's hold tightened since it didn't seem that he was going to stop his maddened act, "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Chopper knew what to do in situations like these. He ran as fast as he could to his office.

Usopp was ready to throw at him a pop green and Brook was going to play a lullaby but the little doctor was faster than them.

Turning into heavy point, he injected a strong dose of morphine in his veins with a syringe. Luffy outcried achingly her name a few times before he fainted.

Puffing out his newly lighted cigarette, Sanji helped Chopper and the two of them carried him to the sick bay with crestfallen expressions.

* * *

_**One hour later in the kitchen...**_

Self-control.

The mugiwaras needed this, they had to stay calm. Otherwise they'd fall apart. Like Luffy, they didn't know _why _Nami disappeared and the unbreakable bond they shared with her was at stake. She was a part of the mugiwaras family, that was certain, and her farewell letter was painful for them too. Being blissfully unaware of what was happening embittered them.

The _"I quit being a pirate"_ excuse sucked, Nami loved to travel, drink sake and treasures too much, she wouldn't abandon that way of life, nor her dreams, unless if something was threatening all of that.

They all trusted her–and that wouldn't change.

They weren't angry about the facts that she had stolen some provisions and their submarine but they were so worried, deceived...And guilty, somehow. None of them had expected that or noticed something off about her in the short period of time they had gotten back together.

Leaning his elbows on the table with his head resting on his palms, the sniper broke the oppressing silence, "Why did she leave like that...?" It was a rhetorical question, he wasn't awaiting for an answer.

Arms crossed, Zoro opened his functional eye, "Because it was easier that way." He replied curtly.

Smoking his umpteenth cigarette, Sanji inquired dishearteningly, "What do you mean, marimo?"

He scoffed a bit,"Do you really think that she could have faced us, told us right in our faces 'I'm leaving'?"

No, probably not.

"We wouldn't have let her anyway." Muttered the cyborg, sniffing.

Staring at the log pose in front of her, Robin tried to think about all the reasons why Nami would have done that. She also hadn't detected a thing. When she left her alone in the women's quarters yesterday at midnight, she was sure that she was sleeping. Little did she know that she was so wrong. "What should we do now?" She asked with furrowed brows.

"Maybe we should go after her." Murmured Brook, still not lifting his head up.

Tears were pooled in Chopper's eyes, "What if she doesn't want to? We don't even know where she could be..." Her words had been harsh, saying that they weren't nakamas anymore had affected him greatly.

They weren't going anywhere...This withdrawal of hers was horrible.

A sudden and violent jolt forced the think tank to dash outside, irking them to no end. What now? What could be worse? Perhaps a dark and menacing storm coming -way too fast- straight towards them was the answer...But the weather had been nice until now! They paled gravely as they realized;

They were in deep shit.

"NAMI–" Usopp trailed off, his face darkening.

While cursing the supernatural weather of the new world, they raced in order to save their asses. Zoro, Sanji and Brook quickly opened the sails, Franky ran to the helm and steered on the starboard beam, Chopper, Usopp and Robin tried to protect "Usopp garden" where their precious plants and Nami's tangerines trees were.

All of that with the wind blowing powerfully (...Wait, was that a tornado not that far away?), the rain pouring down and the thunder roaring.

Actually, they didn't really know what they were doing.

In that instant, they veritably needed their navigator with her super weather powers. They all also wondered how the hell did she always manage to anticipate that.

The Sunny-Go was pitching dangerously and the waves kept splashing all over the ship causing them to lose their balance; they were deeply frightened, it was the first time it ever occurred without her.

"Franky! Do a Coup de Burst!" Yelled Robin, clutching the railing for dear life.

Said person glowered severely, it had been a while since they hadn't anchored on an island and soon they'd run out of cola.

But it was their only way to escape this hell.

Maneuvering, he shouted "Coup de..." The cannons downward the ship enlightened, "BURST!" the mugiwaras rocketed far away and as they soared across through the sky, they released big sighs of relief. This was going to be okay for now, but later..?

* * *

_**Six hours later...**_

The ocean was pacific, there was nothing that could perturb the cloudless horizon and yet, the mugiwaras were afraid–again. Much to their dismay, it had been like that since they had rocketed and landed _there_...

Zoro was scanning the sky and grunted, but smiled a little when he felt someone pat his shoulder delicately. He didn't have to turn to know who it was. "We're stuck–"He began.

She finished his obvious sentence, "In the middle of Calm Belt." then leaned over the railing beside him, sighing.

"Luffy hasn't woken up yet?" He questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

The archeologist shook her head in disapproval, "No, otherwise we would have heard him yell."

He chuckled bitterly, "Yeah."

"Chopper said he'll wake up soon."

"Robin-chan~! SHITHEADS! Dinner's served!" Shouted the chef throughout the porthole.

With the others, they rejoined Sanji to the dining room.

...And dinner had never been that gloomy. Without the rubbery glutton and his monkey laughter nor the orange-haired demon yelling and pummeling, yet while laughing wholeheartedly, the crew wasn't complete.

In one hand, their captain was only asleep and it wasn't that bad, seeing how beastly he had reacted; in the other, when he'd wake up it'd be like a bombshell ready to explode and telling him that they were far away from the last place where they saw Nami...Would light up the fuse.

As for their lost navigator, her absence hurt everyone and they didn't know...They just didn't know what they were supposed to do.

She might be gone for real.

A deadly silence was reigning, they weren't hungry and Sanji wasn't offended either, for he was as quiet as the others.

It's with grieving expressions that they regained their bedrooms, still mute.

* * *

_**12p.m in the men's quarters...**_

The small reindeer was turning around in his bunk, unable to sleep like everyone. He was sobbing and sniffling hard. "I hate this." He said with a quivery voice.

Franky remained motionless but his voice cracked down, "Me too."

The musician tried to switch the subject to a funnier one, "Zoro-san is still not here, do you think he got lost on his own ship?"

Nobody laughed.

"Please, urusai Brook." Said Sanji while pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes tight. Although he was usually the first to poke fun at the moss-head, this joke was just inappropriate right now.

Chopper's cries only grew louder. "S-She said we weren't friends anymore!"

Staring at the ceiling, Usopp sighed, then asked with a weak voice, "Do you want me to tell you an amazing story?"

"You choose a very un-super moment to do that." Snarled Franky.

The story-teller scowled, "I don't, just listen."

It's not like they got to refuse anyway as he began the wonderful tale of the strongest knight in shining armor with rubber powers who once saved an orange-haired damsel in distress from the claws of an evil shark, then in the end she fell gratefully into his awaiting arms. They sailed on the dangerous seven seas with their friends, going on new adventures and overcoming obstacles together forever.

Chopper ceased crying and with the others, they became eager to listen, because they understood, it was _their_ legend. As the ghost of a smile crossed their faces, the kind liar knew that he had done a pretty good job.

* * *

_**At the same time, in the crow's nest...**_

A couple was gazing at the vast night sky, Robin's head was resting on Zoro's shoulder, the two of them were covered by a pleasant blanket. This was _almost_ romantic. But even if they had never really been into kissy-kissy stuff, they weren't at all now.

"I feel guilty." She said with a quiet voice.

He glanced curiously at her, "Why?"

She took a deep breath, "I haven't been able to read her." By that, she meant that she had failed.

He frowned at those words, "The wench's always bottled up her emotions, no one could've predicted that."

Smiling sadly, her brown eyes met his, "Luffy is not going to accept that."

With an arm, he pulled her closer to him, "No."

No more words were exchanged after, the shared warmth was slightly comforting.

* * *

_**Somewhere...**_

With difficulty, Nami had finally arrived to an unknown island. She would have been here sooner if she hadn't problems with concentrating, random spasms or if _he_ stopped tormenting her.

It was nighttime and as always, she couldn't sleep. She'd explore the place tomorrow, hoping to find a shelter or something, but right now she just needed some fresh air.

Somehow it was a relief to be alone...She didn't have to play "let's pretend" anymore. She walked drowsily (staggered) in no particular direction until she reached the top of a hill. Panting, she plopped down on the grass and peered at the moon, shining brightly.

"I can see it, you know."

She moved her knees closer and hugged herself, her head resting on them. She didn't want to see _him_. "What?" She asked with venom in her voice.

"The loneliness–I can see it in your eyes."

"Shut the fuck up Luffy, you're not real." She hissed.

His voice softened, "Don't stay on your own like that."

She looked up and saw the same eyes awash in pity, "You're just making it more difficult! GO AWAY!" She howled as she covered her ears with shaky hands. However, he wouldn't budge, because it was all in her mind and she knew that...She knew it too well. Cowered in fear, she let out painful cries.

* * *

_**1 a.m in the sick bay...**_

Luffy was fidgeting in his sleep, his rubber body was erasing the relaxing morphine. He was dreaming, but this time it wasn't about Ace's death...No. Yet, it was still about something he hadn't done, regrets were his worst nightmare.

This was when he had seen her crying, and in this peculiar moment which felt like reality, he caught her wrist and declared tenderly, "Let me help you."

And then–

He woke up, coving his face with his hands in shame.

* * *

Wahhh, so confusing eh? x)


	4. Chapter 3: Heartache and obstinacy

**Note** : Wah ! I'm so touched guys, your reviews are awesome! :D I promise, this fic will have fight, angst, fluff and so many more...I can't really put only two genres when I write and that's why...I still haven't planned the end of this story (first thing I do usually), _maybe_ there'll be different routes...

"_May it be an evening star  
Shines down upon you,  
May it be when darkness falls  
Your heart will be true  
You walk a lonely road;  
Oh! How far you are from home..."(May it be – Enya)_

_Chapter 3: Heartache and obstinacy_

_**2a.m, on the Sunny-Go...**_

Love and hatred. Two powerful emotions, both are passionate and tenacious, driving tumultuously the hearts of people, yet; they're polar opposites. If mixed together, it would doubtlessly end up badly.

Monkey D. Luffy's mind was engulfed with chaos.

Without realizing his groggy body stood up, went out of the sick bay and staggered on its own to the observation room, _her_ office. He was still deep in a daze. His eyes narrowed as he took the piece of paper still on the desk; enlightened by the moon he could see...She had cried while writing it. He ripped it off.

Twitching suddenly, a vein popped on his forehead as he clenched his teeth and kicked the trash bin with force, then began to look for clues. He wildly rummaged through her desk, every drawer, everything he could.

Nothing.

He hated her so much for her cowardly departure, for the fact that she had refused to rely on him and that she had left them with a letter filled with horrible words; the multiple unanswered questions were killing him.

_'I can't accept it!'_

Howbeit...

He didn't know much about love, but with her, he felt that he was close to it; there was a primal instinct which was screaming to him that he had to always protect her and trust her with all his might...

He leaned against the wall and slowly, he let himself plop down on the floor then lowered his head, biting sorely his lips. His trembling fists were a sign of suppressed anger.

_'I just can't stand it!'_

The mugiwaras were a family. Nami was the exception of this statement, because the captain had never considered Nami as only a sibling. No...She was _special_.

True; she was like a little sister, for she was fragile sometimes; she was smart and caring like a big sister, patching up his treasure with great care; when needed she was a strong matriarch, restoring the lost seriousness with her fists...

_But_ she also was something else, she was his Nami.

The girl who made him feel that he wanted to go beyond this family bond...He was discrete about it and hid this feeling, because the time wasn't right. Not now. But he was certain that one day he'd fulfill his selfish wish and when he'd be pirate king he'd claim her his...After all, she was worth the title of queen; and after the crowning achievement of his life, meaning the accomplishment of all his nakamas' goals too, they'd make new dreams together.

No separated path was tolerated. Never.

He frowned severely as he stared at the scattered crumpled papers around him. There was a lot of them...Curious, he opened one, then another...To finally opening them all and froze.

How many maps did she ruin? The sketches were rough and poorly done, some ink was spilled here and there as if her hands had been trembling terribly while doing it...

His face darkening and his brows furrowing, he pressed his hat harder onto his head, then his voice cracked down the same question that kept coming back, _"Why..?"_

* * *

_**11 a.m...**_

The sun was up and shining brightly in the vivid blue sky, the wind wasn't blowing; the weather was perfect today, a tranquil summer day was–

"Shit! Where's he?!" Yelled Chopper, alarmed.

The mugiwaras behind him paled before dashing out of the sick bay, for fear that their captain had done something stupid during the night...Like, running after Nami unreasonably, something very Luffy-like.

They were in a bad mood, that was obvious. None of them had rested well, questions and worries were veritably a pain in the ass and just imagining how badly Luffy would react when he'd learn that they had landed somewhere on Calm Belt, therefore the chances of finding Nami had considerably reduced...Caused them to break out in cold sweat.

Straightaway, the rooms were checked-_again_, but they quickly dismissed the idea of their captain sailing alone, he was no better than Zoro when it came to directions...They also investigated the deck, Usopp's garden and the lion's head, yet they only found him where they had discovered her letter. They let out loud sighs of relief and frowned right after.

The room was a mess; as if a tornado had passed by. Papers everywhere, a lot of books had fallen from the bookshelves, her drawers were opened and everything they had inside were also on the floor, her navigation tools as well, and her letter had been torn into pieces then left on her desk again.

Their captain was sitting motionlessly; his back against the wall and his eyes were covered by his black locks, seemingly asleep.

"The shithead went berserk again..." Muttered anxiously Sanji.

"Do you think he's sleeping?" Murmured Usopp.

"Should we wake him–"

"I'm not sleeping." The raven-haired man spoke up, showing that he _was_ awake. He lifted up his head and everyone saw that his eyes were bloodshot red; they pondered if he had even blinked once yesterday night."I was thinking." His voice was constrained and hard.

* * *

_**Ten minutes later in the dining room...**_

"Why...Why did you use a Coup de Burst?!" Shrieked Luffy, crashing his balled fists against the table. He pierced it. "We _need_ to go back!" His voice kept getting louder.

"We told you...We had no other choices, and we can't, we don't even know where we are..." Said calmly Robin, massaging her temples.

Staring at the vacuum seat in front of him, Usopp interjected, "Nami's probably gone to some island now anyway..."

"Cocoyashi?" Asked Sanji while puffing out his cigarette, scowling because nobody was eating at least a bit right now and as a chef, it was his duty to make sure that they wouldn't starve, they hadn't eaten yesterday already. "Hey, you all should eat, it's going to be cold."

They didn't listen to him.

"Not yet, it'd take her weeks to reach her homeland, it's too far away." Replied flatly Zoro.

"...Still, if nee-san doesn't want to be a pirate-" Franky couldn't finish his sentence, Luffy released in the spur of the moment a violent wave of haki causing the portholes to blast. Everyone flinched, surprised by the choc. Chopper hesitated to bring out his hidden syringe...

"Of course she wants to! How can you say that?!" He seethed, appalled.

The cyborg didn't dare to scold him for hurting Sunny again or retort that it was what she had written, and it was painfully not super to see mugiwara-bro in denial...

Usopp tentatively placed a hand on Luffy's shoulder, "Luf', chill out-" but he shoved it away, "No!"

Luffy pushed his hat, making it fall on his back then scratched his scalp frantically as if he wanted to pull out his hair, "How can you _all _stay calm?!"

Brook replied sincerely, "We have to, Luffy-san."

Robin leaned her elbows on the table, her chin resting on her palms in a pensive state, "I think, first we need to figure out _why_ she's gone." She inhaled deeply, "Perhaps there are reasons _why_ she can't be with us anymore."

Luffy's eye twitched, "She's got no reason! Nakamas stand by each other!" He shouted, completely outraged. Yes, something was wrong with Nami and he knew it, but whatever it was, he was there for her and so were her crew-mates!

"Pride." Said Zoro, "The sea-witch's strong, she could want to face her demons on her own."

Chopper's eyes darted to the floor, not wanting to meet Luffy's but still spoke up, "Ne, if...Just if there was no chance of her coming back, what would we do?"

"..." Nobody could answer that.

Luffy gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, he despised his crew's doubts. While they were hesitating, Nami was running away further and further...

Silence.

"Sanji," Called Robin trying to subtly evade the question, "Can you make some tea? I'm sure it helps everything to calm down a bit, we really need this."

"Of course Robin-chwan, I'm the slave of love!" Exclaimed Sanji.

The swordsman growled, "Damn ero-cook, even in situations like these you're still a trained dog. I wonder if you're not a eunuch."

The marimo couldn't understand that he was trying to look as normal as possible...? Of course it affected him a lot too. "That's rich coming from someone who brags a lot about swords. Are you compensating for something?!" He deadpanned.

Zoro spit out, "Wanna fight?!"

"Bring it on!"

They began to fight and with no fist of love to stop them, it quickly became violent, all the stress didn't help either.

Luffy really hated this, they were babbling on and on confusedly, a decision needed to be taken.

Regaining his composure, his voice became low and deadly serious; a tone he rarely used unless if it was some severe business and he had to impose his status,"Listen to me." He ordered, standing still.

The two stopped bickering and complied like everyone.

"There are no if's and no but's. We'll track our navigator down, and that's it. I don't give a shit if we'd have to explore every island, every sea, we'll definitely get her back. It's a captain's order!" His words were firm and there was no room for any arguments.

The mugiwaras could only respond solemnly, "Aa!"

Loyalty- a great value which adored Luffy- was also the cement of the mugiwara pirates' unity.

* * *

_**A couple of hours later...**_

The whole ship had been searched and it seemed that their navigator had vanished, just like that. Her treasure box was still filled with riches, her make up was still on the dresser (Though...Why did she need so much foundation cream?)...Almost all her belongings were still there, as if she had left them in a hurry.

They discovered odd things about her too; the cartographer's work wasn't as perfect as it used to be and her log book didn't have any update since...Their separation...Too many pieces of the jigsaw were still missing; it'd take time to fathom her mystery. Oh, Nami was too clever for their own good sometimes...

The oppressing atmosphere had decreased, because instead of staying confused, they'd act and follow their captain's order, resolved now...But even if they tried to act normal in order to not fall apart, the dynamic of the crew missed something.

After his moment of seriousness, Luffy had put on his best smile and played the 'I'm-still-cheerful-and-all' act; though inwardly he wasn't appeased at all; he didn't doubt that they'd not find her, but he was too worried to veritably relax...Still, he had to be the same merry captain, otherwise, who else would reassure his nakamas?

The sun was going down and the first mate had spotted him lounging on the prow, staring blankly at the endless sea on his own.

He took a bottle of sake with him, then joined the silent teenager.

"Want a sip?" He asked, willing to share his alcohol for once.

"Yeah, why not." Answered Luffy, never taking his eyes off the horizon. As he drank a bit, he stuck out his tongue, "Ew, it tastes so bad!"

Zoro laughed. 'Let's pretend' was better than nothing right?

No matter how many nautical miles separated them, Luffy swore to himself that he wouldn't let her leave. Nami's freedom was precious and he respected that...He'd never force her to do anything but giving up on her dreams, on them was _unforgivable_.

* * *

_**Several hours earlier, 6a.m, somewhere...**_

The cold breeze was caressing Nami's skin, causing her to shudder a bit, but she didn't move an inch from the place she had been huddling all night long. Her eyes were slightly red and puffy, staring at the sun arising in the horizon; she was so tired...Of _his presence._ It used to be comforting but now...

"What are you going to do now?" Luffy's voice was ringing in her head over and over.

A sigh was her only reply, still not daring to glance at him and truthfully, she had nothing to say. She was a homeless stray kitten; she had only planned to escape and find a place to die...Frisking her pocket, she took her umpteenth tranquilizing pill, that was all she had.

"We need our navigator." He said tenderly before sitting down next to her.

Nami snorted bitterly, "Not an insane navigator." She snapped back.

"Nami's Nami." He replied simply. "I'm sure we'll be looking for you."

Her brows dipped into a sad frown, "Then I'll hide and deceive. I'm good at that, I've trained for eight years." She had purposely told them cruel words because she wanted them to hate her and leave her alone...

She despised this hallucination, it was probably one of the worst symptoms...He was glued to her when nobody was around...(Though he disappeared when she was back with the real Luffy.)

When she saw him the first time on Weatheria, she thought she was just overwhelmed by their separation...That was when she learned about her disease.

Closing her eyes, she remembered this peculiar day.

* * *

_*Flashback, seven months ago...*_

"_Ne~ Nami! Only six months left and we're back together! Shishishi!"_

_Nami massaged her temples, trying to figure out why Luffy was jumping around before her eyes, perhaps she was very tired...Or desperate to see him again as the goofball he had always been._

_He never faded away and her body commenced to act weirdly._

_Alarmed, she went to the doctor and explained all those strange things happening to her; as she went on, the old man glowered and announced the sentence that it would seal her fate. _

"_You're diagnosed with...Higanbana.(1)"_

_She raised an eyebrow, a flower's name? _

"_Please, tell me what does it mean."_

"_It's a rare disease and (...)"_

_Her face gradually went white as he explained... _

"_C-Can it be cured?"_

_He answered honestly as a professional but averted his eyes from her,_ _"No."_

* * *

Nami opened her watering eyes, the sky was a mix between a light blue and orange...It was so pretty...She got up and went down the hill with a slow pace. Her gaze was unfocused and she wasn't listening to _him_ anymore.

As if mesmerized, she walked mindlessly then reached the end of her path. The edge of a cliff. Looking down, she could see sharp rocks and the shimmering turquoise sea. Her eyes shifted to the sun again and she smiled bitterly.

Maybe it was better to die before it could worsen more, she hadn't much time left anyway and it wouldn't be long until...

"Dawn is beautiful and warm..." She murmured.

There were many great navigators on the grand line; Luffy would find One Piece with his nakamas and they'd all fulfill their dreams. They didn't need her and in this state, she was only a burden.

She had no dreams anymore; she had nothing worth living for, so why would she try? Living a meaningless existence and agonizing was frightening...But she could end all of this so easily...And now she was sure that Luffy would be alright.

"The light is so tantalizing..."

Yearning for the sky; she took a step forwards and tipped over into the abyss.

* * *

And my cliffhangers start! XD

**(1)Higanbana is a red spider lily. In the language of flower, it means "Loss, abandonment, never meet again.", it also means "the flower of the dead" I didn't make up Nami's disease, but I changed the name because it's more mysterious that way and...I love poetry. She's like a withering flower.**

Yeah, it's a song from Lord of the rings, I love references c:

Okay, the action is on its way! :) (Luffy's the most stubborn guy ever!)


	5. Chapter 4: Until your time's up

**Note**** : **Okay, let's pretend that in the OP world there are seasons...My story wouldn't work that way...xD The thematic is: Time, the Grim Reaper's shadow and Spring.

Ah, but there's no hospital in OP and I won't change that...

"_You've got something I need,_

_in this world full of people,_

_there's one killing me..." (Something I need – One Republic)_

_Chapter 4: Until your time's up_

_**Three hours and half earlier, somewhere...**_

"Whoa, today the weather's nice! I'm sure–Eh, what's she doing? She's not going to–OH SHIT!"

"CHIE! GO GET SHIN' IMMEDIATELY!"

"HANG ON MISS!"

* * *

_**10 a.m, present time...**_

"She better wake up soon!" Exclaimed angrily a boyish voice.

Someone sighed, then scolded with a soft voice,"Shh, you're too loud Ryuu'...And you should calm down, it's not good..."

"Urusei!"

"..."

The sounds of steps on the flooring could be heard.

"Where are you going ossan?"

"For Oda's sake, thirty is _not_ old... I'm going to check if the tea is ready," The voice paused. "Do you want some?"

A snort, "Che, you do act like an ossan...And no thanks!"

The door opened and closed quietly. "Okay...I come back soon, watch her."

Half awake, Nami slowly opened her eyes and then scrutinized her surroundings, surprised to find herself under a warm blanket in a cozy bedroom. Turning her head to the right, she could see the sun rays throughout the window and on the sill was nicely placed a vase with a bouquet of pale yellow moonbeams. She glanced around. Judging from the wooden ceiling and the simple furniture, this place was surely owned by humble people.

"Ah, finally!"

She blinked and turned her head again, her eyes finally meeting the small figure on her left. A boy with dark blue hair and amethyst eyes was sitting on a chair beside her with balled fists on his knees. He was wearing a deep purple jacket and black and white capri-pants. He could have been described as cute with his star pendant hanging around his neck...

If he hadn't a big frown on his face and wasn't glaring so intensely at her...Also, there was a white owl standing still on his shoulder, staring with round golden orbs at her...Strange. The boy locked his eyes with hers then clenched his jaw.

Sitting up, Nami was going to say something when–

**SLAP**

"What the fuck did you try to do huh?! Jumping like that...Are you insane?!" He shrieked.

Nami massaged her newly bruised cheek with a slightly shaky hand, shocked and speechless; he had slapped her violently for his young age...Gaping a bit, she asked warily, "What happened to me?...Who are you...?"

His frown deepened and she swore he started to growl, "Answer me before!" He retorted.

"I..I..."She stuttered, "I wanted to..." She trailed off, lowering her head.

He placed a hand on his chest as his face darkened, "Kill yourself..?" He seethed, knowing her answer already, "Gosh, you're stupid! Why a young miss like you'd do that?"

Nami bit her lips. "..."

The owl turned its head to him and spoke up with a low and kind of manly voice, "Ryuu', it's not what you think, this woman's chronometer's not working properly...The little hand is moving way too fast."

She froze. Did a damn bird just talk? And her 'chronometer'?

His eyes widened as he gasped for a brief second. Shaking his head, he suddenly stood up and his surprised expression turned back into a spiteful one, "You...You coward!" He walked hurriedly out of the room with the bird, casting her a severe glower before slamming the wooden door.

Alerted by the ruckus, the door opened right after and instead of the furious boy, Nami saw a thin silver-haired man with sapphire eyes covered by glasses. His clothes were simple, yet classy; a steel blue shirt of which the sleeves were rolled up and black pants. He held a big mug and seemed puzzled.

...She had to admit, he was sort of handsome.

He looked at her and blinked, "Oh, hello!" then immediately left the room, smiling as he said, "Wait a sec!" He came back almost two minutes later with another mug, "Glad to see you awake." He gently handed out one of them to Nami which she took, utterly confused.

* * *

"So hum...What's your name? Do you know where you are..?" Asked the man, fidgeting on his seat. He felt a little uneasy, this young and pretty stranger had tried to...He didn't really know how to tackle this issue, for nothing like that ever happened on their calm and tranquil island...

"I'm Nami." Nami took a sip of her warm tea and replied quietly, "Not at all...I arrived here yesterday night and I only remember...Jumping...Then waking up there, getting slapped by a boy and witnessing an owl talk." She rolled her eyes in annoyance at the last part.

He scratched his chin anxiously and frowned when he glanced at her cheek, "Erm...You're on Seion island and the hot-tempered boy you saw is Chisaii Ryuusei, he's ten but he's got a bad mouth and can be violent, I'm sorry..." He paused, grinning, "But don't be angry...He's got a good heart, in fact, he's the one who saved you."

Nami raised an eyebrow, "He did? How?"A ten year old boy saving her, how great...

"As always, he was going to rehearse on his favorite spot and he saw you near the edge; he caught you before you could fall and pulled you up and then you fainted. Thanks Oda he found you on time." His grin grew wider, "Ah, I forgot to tell you my name, I'm Taishi Shinsetsu and this is my house, I'm a doctor–Wait, you saw Chie?!"

Nami nodded as her mind slowly registered everything he said but began to worry when she saw his face gradually paling, "Of course I can see the owl...Why?" She questioned insecurely.

Shinsetsu's eyes grew large and then they darted to the floor..."Oh no." He murmured, then spoke up, ignoring her question, "You...You have health issues right...?" She wondered how could he know that, but he was a doctor so perhaps it was obvious to him, "Please, tell me why you wanted to commit suicide..." He pleaded softly as he took her free hand in his and bored his eyes filled with genuine concern with hers.

To Nami, this action caused her mask to shatter.

Her face saddened, she had been holding this secret for so long and it had become too heavy for her to keep it to herself anymore. She told him everything, her disease, her denial at first when she tried to ignore it and reported all her attention on her weather studies, her fears when it worsened and...When she reluctantly left all her friends. She only didn't say that she was–used to be a pirate nor that she also left the man she loved, it was unnecessary.

Little did they know that behind the door was standing silently Ryuusei, biting his lips and trembling as he listened to her too.

At the end of her story, the seemingly grown up man was crying like a baby and said as he sniffled hard, "T-this is so selfless..." He sobbed, imagining all the pain she was dealing with and the fact that she had seen Chie meant that she was telling him the truth, the ugly truth... Although he didn't know much about the Higanbana disease; he had only heard that even if it wasn't contagious, it was dreaded by every doctor.

Nami smiled sadly, for the first time she had shared this with someone... "If you knew them, you'd do the same. It's better that way." She paused and put down her mug on the bedside table, her face darkening, "Since I've got nothing to hold me back, I can die in peace now, I guess."

The door slammed open at these words and the still fuming boy barged inside, grabbed the violin case which was the reason why he had come back here and eavesdropped them, threw it over his shoulder and caught her wrist forcefully then dragged her outside.

Shinsetsu watched them leave, completely baffled. As he regained his calm, he promised he would help this brave woman, even though he didn't know much about her. However he felt a little apprehensive about Ryuusei, he'd always take it badly when it was about time...

He stood up and went to his office.

* * *

Forced outside, Nami's gaze wandered around. Shinsetsu's house was indeed a thatched cottage (it also had a small greenhouse) and to her surprise this place was secluded as there was no other houses here, only fields, trees and flowers.

This peaceful landscape was somehow soothing.

Ryuusei kept dragging her wordlessly until they reached the same cliff which wasn't far away. In daytime, she could see Japanese anemones growing scattered in the wild and many other plants; while it was pretty and such she couldn't help but felt fairly annoyed at his rude behavior.

"Why are you taking me here?!" She yelled, but didn't try to break free, for she had always loved kids, even the stubborn, silly and bothersome ones... Such as Luffy.

"Gotta explain to you the meaning of life." He snapped as he released her wrist, turned around and looked up to the sky, then put a hand to his throbbing heart, he truly needed to relax.

Nami held back a bitter snort but did as he said and sat down, although she wouldn't really listen if he told her off.

"I've heard everything you said to Shin'...You're sick and sad... I'm truly sorry...I know it's unfair..." His voice was honest and became quieter, "Chie told me, your time's flying like me. But–"

"What's the problem with that owl?!" She barked.

"Oi, I'm not a mere bird." Interjected Chie before flying down the oak he had been hiding, then landing next to her he continued, "I'm a shinigami...You should fear to see me."

The tired and irritated orange-haired woman stopped dead in tracks, "What..?" She scoffed dryly, "Yeah, right. You _sure_ are a scary one..." Her voice was dripping sarcasm.

He opened his wings angrily, showing that her remark was offending, "I'm working in the children section! Hence this form, che!" Seriously it wasn't his fault if kids liked fluffy things..."But my job's the same, I help deceased people's souls to go where they need to." There was a hint of pride in his voice.

"He's not lying." Added curtly the blue-haired, still staring at the turquoise sky.

"And what's the big deal with seeing you?" She shuddered a bit for some reasons and noticed Ryuusei tensing up. After all, meeting a god of death wasn't reassuring. At all...Too many strange creatures existed in this world.

"Only those who faced death or who are dying can see me."

"Oh." Was all she managed to answer. With a frightening expressionless face, she dared to say, "So I'm veritably doomed..Ahahah..." She laughed humorlessly and lowered her head, "Is it linked with the chronometer you talked about? What it is anyway?"

"It's the chronometer of your life you can't see it but...When the hand will make its way around the dial you'll die."

Silence.

Nami mustered all her courage and asked with a resigned, yet pained face, "How long do I have left exactly?"

"Do...Do you really want to know?" Chie cringed inwardly.

"Yes."

"You'll be dead before spring." He didn't know the exact date because he wasn't taking care of her case, but he was sure of his answer; at this rate...

She covered her eyes with two very quivery hands, "Ah." She broke down. Why was it so painful to hear? She thought she had accepted her fate...She commenced to sob quietly.

Glancing behind, Ryuusei's features saddened as he crouched down (shoving Chie aside) and took both of her hands. "Don't cry! It's okay if we don't have time, we just have to enjoy every precious moments!" He exclaimed, "S-So you can't give up! Dreams make us feel alive, don't you have any dreams left at all?"

Nami looked at him in the eyes, for her map of the world it was too late but..."I want to see a coronation."

"You know a prince?" Ryuusei smiled, "That's kinda cool! Well, I'm sure you will! So..Never try to kill yourself again! I won't let you do it anyway!"

_No_, he was already a king to her..."But it's not living, it's surviving..."

His hold tightened, "Listen, on your last day on earth, you'll be able to smile as you'll look up to the sky, only because you won't have any regrets and you could say 'I'm done'...So until your time's up, you better cling to life and live it fully!"

Nami stayed agape at his words, for a child he was terribly mature, "..." She couldn't counter back his arguments and he looked so determined...

"N-Ne, stop crying now, argh, I ain't good with girls...And I'm sorry for hurting you earlier...I'll play something to you as an apology okay?"

He didn't let her reply as he opened his violin case and got up. Nami pondered if a hurricane personality like him could play such an elegant instrument...Well a perverted pansies hunter like Brook could, so why not.

Placing his old mahogany violin on his collarbone, he shut his eyes and began to play with a gentle expression.

As soon as he started, Nami gasped but relaxed as she closed her eyes as well. She could feel the warm breeze tickling her skin, the wildflowers' perfume was nice and she grinned unconsciously, she didn't need the lyrics to recognize...Bink no sake.

It almost felt as if nothing had changed at all, as if she was back to the Thousand Sunny with all of them and they were partying with her. She shouldn't have regretted to have returned to them, because she had been filled with happiness in the short time they had been together. She had seen her family and him one last time.

She had been truly happy.

They would remember her like that.

Therefore...It wasn't that sad.

She stopped sobbing and decided she wouldn't ever again, the false hopes of seeing from afar Luffy becoming the pirate king would keep her alive.

Although it was dreadful, she wouldn't give up anymore; She'd wait until her time would be up.

The survival game had begun.

"This melody is beautiful." She murmured.

He smiled back at her.

Watching the two silently, Chie wondered a bit amazed if it was possible to encounter more people like that; People who would strive to live...Although they both knew too well it wouldn't end nicely.

* * *

_**11 a.m, back to Shinsetsu's cottage, in the dining room...**_

"Y'know Shin', I keep saying it but you'd make a perfect housewife!" Said mockingly Ryuusei before wolfing down his dish.

"He's right!" Added Chie, laughing.

"It's delicious, Shinsetsu-san." Approved Nami, putting down her fork.

The cook's cheeks flared red and looked away, "Er...Thanks Nami-san." He blinked, "Ah, please call me Shin', Shinsetsu is way too formal."

"Ahaha! You're blushing!" Snickered the annoying brat.

Nami chuckled, "Don't be embarrassed Shin-san."

"I-I'm not...Anyway, do you know what you plan to do now...?"

"Hmm..I'd like to spend the rest of my life here," She said with a pensive look, "I mean, it's calm and peaceful, I like this place." Moreover it wasn't like if she had anywhere else to go, Cocoyashi was out of the question for the same reason than the Sunny-Go.

"I'd rather say it's frigging boring." Pouted Ryuusei, for there was no city, no amusement park nor anything there.

The silver-haired man was slightly taken aback but gave her a bright grin, Nami-san was very strong, her suicidal thoughts wouldn't take over her and he liked her already, "Well, you've got a place to stay here," he began shyly, "I don't have much to offer, but I could look after you... As a professional of course."

This man was very kind and Nami's lips slowly formed a smile, "I'd love to." She blinked, "Ah, I've got some of my things in my submarine and Belis too–"

"You won't have to pay anything!" He cut her off, he'd be damned if he forced her to pay for her presence!

With a napkin, she wiped her mouth, then got up and went closer to him, grinning widely, "Then it's a deal. Thanks a lot, Shin-san." She kissed him on the cheek, seriously she didn't know how to thank him. Since she had finished her meal, she decided to go back to the submarine, "I go get my things."

"Ah, wait!" Shouted Ryuusei, "I'll help you!"

* * *

_**9 p.m, Nami's new room...**_

Nami placed carefully her two framed pictures on the bedside table then, sighing, she laid down on her new bed, feeling dizzy and exhausted.

It was scary to just think about it, but back to when she was to the cliff all alone, she had truly wanted to die; as if her mind had somehow gone blank.

She ran her fingers through her long wavy hair and closed her eyes; she loved them; she had let them grow for one peculiar reason and this reason made her smile weakly. When she had been a thief, long hair was forbidden, for pursuers couldn't pull her hair this way and she wouldn't end up caught.

Now, they could grow freely because of _him_, he had given to her the strength to stand up fearlessly.

Damn, she used to be a mugiwara, and like all of them, she could be courageous. She could cope with her issues on her own.

"It was pretty stupid of you to have tried to jump."

"I know Luffy."

She frowned when she recalled what Ryuusei had told her.

"_Y'know, I wouldn't have done that. You chose a lonely death...And your friends won't get to mourn you...Did you properly say 'sayonara'?"_

He scolded her but she knew that he was a good person, for he spent his time to show her around (though the island was very small and had only one village called Heiwa) all exited and treated her in a friendly way; except his unexpected and surprising moments of maturity, he was kind.

She was interrupted in her thoughts when someone gently knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

Shinsetsu delicately sat down on the edge of the bed, "I have to be sure...Did Chie say something to you?"

"Yeah."

He gulped, "What did he say...?" _'Seriously Chie, you're making it worse.'_

"I won't see spring." Her voice wasn't really sad or anything.

"Ah–"

"Why can you see him too? Also, he seems to be stuck to Ryuusei." She cut him off, for this fact had bugged her a lot and she didn't want to whine about her disease anymore.

He swallowed hard, "Ryuu'...Has a fragile health..." He took a deep breath then his voice weakened, "Chie had been protecting him and following him around, he's more like a shugotenshi (guardian angel) I guess." He smiled wistfully. "For me...I just...Approached death a little too closely once."

Her frown deepened, so that was why he had given her a long speech about life...It was horrible for a kid...Shin and him had their own problems to deal with too..."Are you his father?"

"Actually, no. But I consider him like my son, I'm his foster-father. He had a sister but–"He trailed off suddenly but it was too late;

Nami understood.

However he quickly changed the subject to a happier one, "A-anyway, do you like this room?"

"It's very nice, thanks for everything Shin-san...But...Where are you going to sleep?" She had taken his bedroom after all, she felt a bit guilty.

He shrugged, "On the couch," as he saw her newly furrowed brows he added, "which is very comfy, I love it!" He clapped his hands together and stood up, "Well, I should leave you alone, you need to rest, goodnight Nami-san." He turned around so she couldn't see his smile fading away, he had done some research, this was a very painful disease...It was a miracle that she was only in this state and supported this bravely, she was a warrior. He swore he'd do anything to allow her to see the first flowers' buds.

"Goodnight."

Right after he closed the door, she took several tranquilizing pills and gulped them down immediately, she did _not_ want to be pestered by Luffy tonight.

She switched the lights off and went under the blanket, maybe she'd try to sleep. She would meet tomorrow head on.

"I still can see the loneliness."

Ah, fuck it.

Well, she had too many things in mind to sleep anyway, like the strange trio she had just met...Very compassionate but...With secrets and mysteries too. For example... How come a shinigami was acting as if he was Ryuusei's pet? Why was he staying here? (How could he even exist?)

Also, the 'chronometer' thing lingered in her mind, was hers broken?

She sighed then turned her head to the figure in the dark, "I wonder what you're thinking about right now."

"Dunno."

* * *

_**10 p.m, on the Sunny-Go...**_

"Don't you trust me after all this time?" Asked Luffy, frowning deeply with one hand lifted up to the vast night sky and the other folded under his head, underneath the tangerine groves.

He couldn't sleep, although today had been an exhausting day.

Tomorrow they'd begin to look for her. It had been silently decided that Robin would be the navigator of the ship until she'd be back to them, and Usopp vowed he'd take care of her trees.

"Dammit Nami...You're not a star."

_'You're not unreachable.'_

* * *

So yeah, basically it was the same day but Nami's POV. :D

Too many Oc's at once x)

Their names had been chosen carefully; Ryuusei Chisaii means small meteor, Shinsetsu Taishi= ambitious kindness, Chie= Wisdom, Seion= Serenity and Heiwa= Peace.

Yes, I introduced shinigami in OP XD (I know it's not Bleach but c'mon, there are fishmen, mermaids, dragons, dwarves and other weird creatures in OP...) and owls are considered as messengers of death. (I did some research! x)

This was one of the few 'happy' chapters, I can't write something serious from the start to the very end, can I? xD (It'd be way too depressing)

The pace will quicken don't worry! :)


	6. Chapter 5: Inwards and outwards

**Note**** :**...Okay, the previous chapter was kinda light-hearted but you all who like dark stories, don't run away XD Erm... I won't tell you the disease's real name until the end because...Tee hee~I'm evil and love suspense! Ah, I forgot to ask, do you want me to sketch you my OC's? Or you'd rather let your imagination do the trick...?:) Also, they are important but not too much in this story (so don't worry) because I frigging hate mary sue-ish character...

I should stop babbling on and on...Are you ready for several time-skips? XD I gave you a hint about the present time; Japanese anemones sprout in august.

_"Love don't die,_

_no matter where we go,_

_or even if we don't,_

_and even if they try,_

_they'll never take my body away from your side,_

_love don't die..." (Love don't die - The Fray)_

_Chapter 5: Nautical miles apart: Part I, Inwards and outwards_

**The second week since Nami's departure**

"We're finally out of Calm Belt." Stated bluntly Zoro with a concerned expression as he placed a hand on Luffy's shoulder, then his gaze shifted to what he was staring at on his own–the endless sea.

The raven-haired boy next to him stopped in his thoughts at his sudden presence and forced a smile as he turned his head to him, "Yeah, shishishi!" but clutched unconsciously the railing a little too strongly, causing it to crack under the pressure. "Ne, doesn't this adventure feel like a treasure hunt?" He asked with a cheerful voice; yet despite his efforts his grin wouldn't stretch from ear to ear.

The swordsman let out a snort but smiled knowingly, "Only if you consider the witch as a treasure...?" However, he didn't add that they didn't have a treasure map or anything, because the crew tried to be optimistic about Nami, they had to be patient and persevering; acting as if everything was normal was needed.

Heck, her ghost was lingering on the Thousand Sunny anyway, her belongings, her trees, all of it was still here as a reminder.

_'It's much easier to smile than to be happy.'_

Luffy blinked and laughed awkwardly, "Shishishi!" not giving a clear answer, or no answer at all.

Even if he didn't show it openly, their captain's mind was obsessed by one thing; Nami's broken smile. It was hurting him deep inside his chest like a wound which wouldn't heal...Until she was back.

He had taken Nami's presence for granted and now, he bitterly regretted it.

His stubbornness and his determined spirit would lead him to her, he was so sure of it. He said that she couldn't have gone back to Cocoyashi because something was wrong–way too wrong for her to just return to her home island.

When his crew asked how could he know that, he had just answered, "Instincts."

They believed in him; his instincts had no flaws.

And so began their chase after her.

* * *

**The third week**

**"**What's the name of this island?" Questioned Usopp with an arched eyebrow as he glanced around.

Rocking back and forth on his feet with his hands in his pockets, Luffy flashed him his trademark grin, "Do we care?"

Nope, none of the mugiwaras did.

"We should split up." Said Robin as she folded her arms over her chest, "This island is huge."

Luffy nodded, "Let's explore it quick! Nami could be there!"

"Aa!" Came promptly his crew-mates' answer.

They formed small groups and parted in different ways; then reunited on the Sunny-Go only when the sun was setting down with a slight look of defeat in their eyes.

Of course not, their orange-haired nakama wasn't there.

It would have been too easy.

* * *

**The fourth week**

This adventure sucked.

The mugiwaras should have been happy to explore the new world, sailing together on their dream ship.

Yet...Something was broken.

They were just...Navigating endlessly on the seas in no particular direction, docking at every random island which was on their path. If they were thrilled to discover new places and horizons, well; they sure didn't show it. Luffy could do everything he could, his nakamas noticed he wasn't his usual merry self, they knew him well by now and his fake grin made them cringe inwardly.

Using Sanji's observation Haki, they'd turn the whole place upside down and stop every orange-haired woman passing by, or bring up and show Nami's wanted poster to anyone they could in a desperate measure; they also would buy the island's map for Nami's dream. It had become a routine.

What else were they supposed to do?

Thus far, nothing; not even the slightest clue about her had been found.

They had to admit, without their true navigator or any orders than "We must find her." the mugiwaras were lost. They didn't have any real plan...

This was a quest only driven by their willpower and hopes.

* * *

**The fifth week**

Usopp swallowed hard the lump in his throat as he stared at the tangerine orchards and touched with a shaky hand one of the branches.

The kind sniper was doing his best as the gardener of the ship; however without their rightful owner's intensive and special care, Nami's trees were losing their vitality. Their leaves were becoming yellow, the fruits were falling before maturing.

Gasping in disbelief, he paled deeply as he panicked and started to pull his hair out of his scalp frantically,"What should I do?!"

* * *

**The sixth week**

They had gone through a devastating storm but they hadn't been able to do a Coup de Burst and escape it, for they had run out of cola two days ago. Nobody doubted Robin's cleverness but she would never compete against Nami's skills when it came to navigation, even less so with weather predictions due to the obvious fact that she was _not_ a navigator.

They would clearly remember the powerful wind whistling in their ears, the multiple tornados, the deluge, the roaring flashes of lightning way too close while fighting sea kings...It had been a terrifying experience.

The lion's head had lost three of its petals, most of the railings on the right side were gone and Chopper's inability to swim had almost cost him his life. Zoro had saved him when he had fallen into the menacing dark sea; but the little reindeer had been traumatized and hadn't gone out of his office for three days.

Everyone had tried to comfort him but he had locked the door; his sobs were the only thing they had heard from him during this time.

The blue-haired ship carpenter had done everything he could to patch up Sunny and he had thanked Oda for their navigator's greediness, her money allowed them to continue their pursuit, for they needed supplies, provisions and everything...

At first, they had been all pumped up about giving chase but slowly...Everyone's smile disappeared because the statement was always the same.

"Nami's not there either."

Perhaps they should pray Oda too.

* * *

**The seventh week**

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH MARIMO!" Barked Sanji as he delivered a powerful kick to Zoro's chest.

Using his katanas as a shield, said marimo defended himself and unsheathed his swords as he shouted, "YOU'RE SO GONNA GET IT SWIRLY!"

To Zoro's surprise, Sanji retaliated with another attack which reached him this time and caused his mouth to bleed; a brutal punch.

He had used his _fists_.

This was when Chopper broke down and threw himself in the middle of the fight to stop them. "P-please, don't fight!" He pleaded as his tears streamed down like waterfalls, he couldn't restrain them anymore.

He exploded into loud cries.

The tension in the dining room was so thick that it almost made the others who were watching the scene suffocate.

Brook stopped playing Bink no sake to cheer up the crew since it didn't work anyway, Robin put down her book which had become uninteresting and Franky's hair looked like shit...As for Luffy, he chewed silently his food without much motivation with his eyes concealed under his hat and sighed, their fights were becoming more and more frequent and violent...

* * *

**The eighth week**

_It was the same starry sky with the same cold atmosphere and she was still cowered in despair as she was crying quietly beneath her shelter –her trees._

"_What's wrong Nami?" Asked Luffy as he grabbed her wrist before she could escape when she stood up._

_She stayed mute, sobbing and looking down, "..."_

_His features saddened gravely as he grasped her shoulders and shook her violently, "Why won't you tell me?! Why won't you let me help you?!" He questioned, feeling upset and tortured._

_She shook her head vehemently and bit her lips, "..."_

_He lifted up one hand and with his thumb, he gently wiped away her tears, "You know I'd do anything for you Nami, I'd protect you!" He declared fiercely, yet tenderly._

_Her glossy orbs met his as she finally replied, her voice barely above a whisper, "Can you protect me from myself?" Then she pushed him away and stepped backwards._

_Luffy's eyes widened, his pupils shrank in horror as he saw her body gradually fading then completely vanishing into the darkness._

"_DON'T GO!" He shrieked painfully as he tried to reach her with his hand but in vain. _

_He lowered his head as he let his arm hang uselessly by his side, and stared down at his shadow full of sorrows, "Why, why, WHY?!"_

Luffy shot up awake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat with his heart throbbing too hard. He buried his head into his trembling hands as he sucked in his breath sharply. It was the same nightmare again.

"Why aren't you here with us...With me..?" He murmured, his brows dipping into a sad frown.

Love was not always rainbows and butterflies.

It hurt.

It was tormenting him every night. Needless to say, sleeping peacefully was impossible.

* * *

**The ninth week**

"Monkey D. Luffy, I challenge you in a Davy Back Fight!" Proclaimed proudly a cocky captain of a random pirate crew as he pointed at Luffy.

It almost got the mugiwara pirates to roll their eyes. They had just anchored somewhere and a rookie already wanted to mess with them.

Luffy clicked his tongue in pure annoyance, "Don't wanna...We don't have time for this." And began to walk away, he had an island to check and his mission was more important.

"Ha! You all look like a sad bunch of pussies," Snorted the random captain as he glanced at them. His eyes narrowed and he grinned mockingly as he realized something, "Eh..? Where's the Dorobō Neko?"

Luffy stopped.

His grin grew wider as he saw that he had gotten Luffy's attention; he continued, "I've heard she's not trustworthy. Did she betray you?" The fucker sneered loudly, "I bet she couldn't bear to be with losers like you anymore..."

Every mugiwara looked furious but they waited for their captain's decision.

Luffy slowly turned around with a hard expression, cracking his knuckles. "Take that back...?" He seethed.

The random crew stood beside their captain who now laughed his ass off, "Ooh...Is it a sensitive matter? It's too bad that this bitch's not there, I would have been a naughty boy with her ass... Ahahahahah–OOF!"

All of a sudden, Luffy twitched and extended his arm then punched him forcefully in the face, "URUSEI YOU BASTARD!" He yelled as he ground his teeth. Well, he was damn willing to show what his two years of training had taught him and so were his crewmates now. Quickly turning his head toward them, he exclaimed, "HE ASKED FOR IT! LET'S KICK THEIR ASSES!"

"AA!" Replied his nakamas in unison, already in full attack mode.

Little did the random crew know when they dashed to fight that they were going to meet their doom.

"IT'S ON!" Everyone fastly forgot the piracy's codes and rules.

Angering them by insulting one of them caused the mugiwaras to unleash their fury. They vented all their suppressed feelings, anxiety, anguish, anger and so many more on them without any hesitation.

"KIKI KYUTORU: ASURA!" Zoro slashed a dozen of them in a blink of an eye.

"USO HYAKU-TON HANMA!" Several enemies got crushed by Usopp's huge hammer.

"HERU MEMORIZU!" Sanji was boiling with threatening flames.

"KAKUTO HERUFU!" The opponents' chests met Chopper's hooves.

"SEIS FLEUR: TWIST!" The archeologist kept her poker face as she twisted many enemies' bodies in a gruesome way.

"FRANKY RADICAL BEAM!" They also learned that cyborgs could turn into killing machine.

"HANAUTA SANCHO: YAHAZU GIRI!" A living skeleton was scary, but a living skeleton swinging his sword even more.

Amidst this pirate war which seemed more like a slaughter, Luffy was walking toward the sucker, totally enraged with his haki blasting off everything on his way.

Though he was a little scared, his opponent dared to say with a voice filled with self-confidence, "You're so gonna bite the dust!" He lifted up his chin, "I won't take your jolly roger but...A crew-mate of yours would be nice...They seem strong...Ahahah!"

Something snapped in Luffy at these words. His eye twitched as he delivered him several punches enhanced by his monstrous haki, kicked him, even bit him. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" He shrieked as he whirled around and headbutted his enemy, never letting him counter back.

And when he was on the ground swimming in a puddle of his own blood, Luffy kept hurting him, releasing all his animosity. The other captain had stopped moving, for most of his bones were broken but the infuriated raven-haired teenager didn't stop. "WE _WON'T_ LOSE SOMEBODY ELSE!" He screeched between two punches on top of him.

"P-Please...S-stop it!" Begged the man, his eyes squinting from the pain as he coughed more hemoglobin.

As if he had gone deaf, the gomu gomu no user continued his merciless act for awhile; he didn't react when his face was splashed on by his enemy's blood and didn't bother to wipe it away, he didn't grimace at the sight of the disfigured agonizing man, he didn't even care that he had broken a few fingers...For he was stuck in a mindless wild beast state.

He punched him again. And again. And again.

His nakamas had finished off the small fries a long time ago and were staring uneasily at him, dumbstruck and speechless. They had never seen Luffy acting so cruel and whereas it was understandable, he had been holding back all his bitterness and hatred for so long–He was going to kill his punching ball.

Sanji and Zoro sprinted toward them and forced him to stop his torture by grabbing both of his arms.

The Luffy they knew would hate himself for doing that, he was not a cold blooded murderer... Mentally exhausted, their captain let his head hang down and his body dropped forward, "We won't lose another nakama..." He cried out before fainting from the accumulated fatigue.

The mugiwaras had won (obviously) the fight, howbeit they had never felt more distressed.

Inwardly and outwardly, they were breaking down one by one.

* * *

Yup, it's gonna be a whole chapter mugiwaras' POV and one of Nami's...Sorry for the chapter's shortness...Time's flying now... :D

You do _no_t mess with the mugiwara no ichimi.

Thanks for all the review; you guys are the best!


	7. Chapter 6: Utopian delusional haven

**Note**** :** First of all, I'm sorry for the lateness... School, exams, narcolepsy...

Second, I'll be happy if you take the time to go on Deviantart and type my user name, there are the sketches of my OC's! :D (I can't put the link here, dunno why o_o–And for my drawing skills...Sorry, it's not very good, I don't have art class, I only draw when I'm bored–sbaff)

Are you ready for Nami's POV? :)

**Important note; her POV is taking place at the same time than the mugiwaras', it's in parallel. **

**Warning! The last part of the chapter is optional...If you're not prepared for a _big mindfuck,_ you can ignore it, you'll understand two chapters later...PM me if you want me to tell you more about it though. :)**

"_Save me, save me, save me!_

_I can't face this life alone!_

_Save me, save me, save me!_

_I'm naked and I'm far from home..." (Save me - Queen)_

_Chapter 6: Utopian (delusional) haven_

_**3.a.m, in Shinsetsu's office...**_

Under the glow of a gentle, warm and slightly trembling candlelight, a silver-haired man was scribbling furiously complex words on a diary studies–an empty one, reserved to his new orange-haired patient. The huge mountain of medicinal books was threatening to fall on him but he didn't care at all.

He thanked Oda to be born as a true bookworm and a nerd; he could be considered as a genius. He was passionate about his toil and could spend hours on it without flinching. He sighed as his hand started to hurt too much from writing. Putting down his pen and taking off his glasses for a few minutes, he grasped his cup of coffee and quickly drank everything.

Time was running out for Nami-san.

He frowned gravely at this idea. She had five painful months left, if she was lucky. It was...Terrorizing? Unfair? Horrible? There was no unique word to describe how horrendous it was...And in truth...She would die twice; when her brain would cease to function and when her body would give up on her.

Death would follow inevitably...

Unconsciously, tears formed in his sapphire eyes. He sniffled loudly as they began to roll over his cheeks then fall onto his precious research. He hurriedly wiped them away as he looked up to the wooden ceiling.

Ah, he hated his sensitive and weak personality sometimes...He had always been the ugly duckling of his family, a veritable crybaby.

But whining would change nothing; he had to be courageous, he had gotten one more person to take care of.

The scientist braced himself as he took several deep breaths and went back to his duty.

And so began the life prolonging treatment.

* * *

**Day 1**

Shin snatched away the little bottle from Nami's hand with a horrified look painted on his face. A drop of sweat rolled over his cheek as he examined the label on it, "Y-You have only that?!" He asked with a quivery voice.

Nami blinked and then scratched the back of her head, "...Well...Yes?"

Seeing that he couldn't calm down, she explained to him that when she was on Weatheria island with the moronic dumbledores, the doctor hadn't given her anything else, for he hadn't known what to do exactly, his medicinal knowledge was rusty; and she had been more preoccupied with her studies...

Worse, when she had returned to her 'crew of sailors', they had been glued together and she hadn't be able to see another doctor; she did think of stealing Chopper, but the little reindeer wasn't dumb, he would have suspected something.

So basically, she had been coping with her sickness on her own...Without anything to slow it down.

He frowned severely, "Let's go to my office." He said, deadly serious.

Ryuu who was spying on them decided to follow them.

Nami thought that his check up would never end.

* * *

_**Nami's bedroom, later...**_

Nami sighed deeply as she stared at all the small bottles on her bedside table, there were so many...Shin had given to her several drugs for her psychological issues, such as antidepressants, sedatives, sleeping pills and powerful painkillers...For her physical problems, he had given to her_ a lot _of medicines which would kind of anesthetize her body.

She'd have to take at least a dozen of pills everyday from now on.

Turning around, she observed her reflection in the mirror and she saw... A monster. This monster had no claws, no horns or fangs but...The evil flower was slowly sprouting inside her as shadows were piling in her brain...Soon, the monster would take over her.

She was frightened of herself.

Shin and her both knew they couldn't prevent the disease from growing stronger–He (very gently) asked her to draw up her advance directive when she'd not be apt to communicate anymore.

He promised to support her during her desperate struggle until...Her last breath. She smiled a bit, this man was truly wearing his name.

She wasn't alone and it was comforting... She shook off her morbid thoughts and grinned as she heard Ryuu calling for her through the door.

* * *

**Day 2**

_**In the dining room...**_

"I'm going to rehearse! See you later Shin' and Nami!" Exclaimed Ryuu as he grabbed his violin case and rushed outside with Chie.

Nami grunted then yawned, it was still early in the morning..." He's always so full of energy?" She questioned as she took a bite of her apple.

Shin chuckled next to her, "Always! It's because he loves playing violin, and he's very good at it! Moreover, in three months and two weeks there'll be a competition on Chouwa island and he wants to apply, so he better practice with all his might." His smile deflated, "If only he took other things seriously..." He mumbled to himself then clapped his hands together, "Anyway, what do you want to do today?" He asked cheerfully.

The orange-haired woman yawned again, "I don't know..?" Ryuusei had been stuck with her since she arrived, he had showed to her every part of Seion island, she had nothing to do now. "What do you all do usually?"

"Well, I'm the only doctor of this island, I'm busy most of the time...But when I'm not, I'm a writer...Sort of." He laughed, and little did she know that he had started to write her story, "As for Ryuu, he plays the adventurer and explore Seion with Chie, though since a few weeks, he fancies the baker's daughter..." He paused, "Ah, for a sailor like you, this kind of lifestyle must be boring..." He frowned suddenly as he felt sorry.

"No, not all Shin-san! A doctor and a writer...It's amazing! And...Imagining Ryuusei playing a senerade to a girl is funny...This kind of life is peaceful, I like it."

It was half true, it _almost_ felt like vacations, for she didn't need to play the tough girl act in front of anyone anymore. However, she stopped smiling when she glanced at the pills next to her cup of tea.

A silence fell as Shin watched curiously her face...Turning somber.

"Am I...Am I a burden?" She asked quietly, out of the blue.

Taken aback, he let out small throaty noises, "...What?"

"I've entered your life just like that, and now you're taking care of me, even though you don't know much about me...You don't even ask anything in exchange...Why? And how...How can I repay you?"

He blinked several times before taking her hand and his grasp tightened as he said, "Everyone deserves to be helped, no matter who he is nor where he comes from...You're not a burden, I'm glad to help you. So..Don't say that again, okay?" He squeezed her hand, "You don't need to repay me either, I told you, I won't make you pay for anything, you're my guest."

She scowled, "How can you live without Belis...?" She remembered him telling her that his services were almost for free, it bugged her a lot,"And I want to!" then her face softened, "I want to repay you, I'm so thankful..."

He shrugged, "I used to be filthy rich, then I realized that this life wasn't for me...I like simple things better." He chuckled, "We manage with little money here, only the necessary." His gaze shifted to the bouquet of Japanese anemones on the table, "But if you insist, I know what you could do!"

Nami smiled back at him, "I'll do anything to make me useful, what's it?"

"My greenhouse is only filled with medicinal herbs, half of the space's empty, you could grow and sell flowers, even during winter!"

She beamed at the idea, she'd have a nice occupation, "That's a great idea!" and at least, her sorcery climat tact which she had taken for sentimental reason would turn out useful.

He blushed furiously then looked away, "W-Well, it's settled then! You're the new florist of Seion!"

Nami grinned widely, "Yup!"

He gave her his brightest smile in return.

"Ne Shin-san," She began.

"Hmm?"

"What did you mean by 'filthy rich?' if you were rich, why did you become a doctor?" According to her, you could never be rich enough and it wasn't a bad thing, if she could, she'd take bath of gold coins and she did want to learn more about Shin.

He scratched his chin nervously, then began even more fidgety when he glanced at their still intertwined hands, "That's...Kind of a long story..."

"I'm listening."

Shinsetsu obeyed, for she had told him a part of her story, doing the same was fair.

* * *

_*Flashback, 18 years ago.*_

_A twelve year old boy with fancy clothes and perfectly combed silver hair was climbing up lavish fences, ready to enjoy his freedom._

"_Just what are you doing nii-san?" Snapped a boy with sandy blond hair._

"_I'm going to see the real world! Wanna come?"_

"_No thanks, if mother or father learns about it, you're so screwed...Don't wanna get in troubles." He said as he rolled his eyes and left._

_Ignoring his rude little brother who was a true kill joy, the boy jumped off the fences then ran enthusiastically, finally he had mustered his courage to sneak out of their domain!(he was strictly forbidden to do so)...He arrived to a village and beamed as he scrutinized around, "Whoa..." _

_He was daydreaming too much as he wandered and bumped into someone, "Ite..."_

"_Watch where you're going, you idiot!" Snarled a girly voice._

_He blinked, then looked down and saw a girl around his age with pure white hair and garnet red eyes. Blushing, he extended his hand for her, "I-I'm sorry!"_

_Grabbing it, she stood up and dusted herself as she huffed, "Moh, you ruined my skirt..." Looking up her eyes flickered, "Hey, who're you? I never saw you here."_

_This was his first meeting with Shiragiku (1). Soon they became great friends, they would meet every day at their secret place. They were curious about each other, this girl was a bold proletarian and he was a timid (and stupid, she added later) prince._

_One day, he came to her, crying like a baby. Hugging him, she asked why, she hated to see him cry... _

"_I hate my family! They're always so spiteful... I feel like I don't belong here, I hate my name!" He was so fed up of their chic parties between snobby people and the way they looked at the 'commoners'..."And my father wants me to continue his work when I'll be older...I don't want to...I feel like I'm in a golden cage..."_

_She ruffled his hair and smiled softly, "What an idiotic prince you are...You're shy, bad at communicating, a true scaredy cat and a whiner...But you're no coward, you'll find the courage to stand up, I know it!"_

_He chuckled. Even the insults were cute..."Thank you..."_

_As she pushed him a little he noticed a small pink of hue on her cheeks as she added, "As for your name...I could give you another one! What do you think of...Erm...Shinsetsu...Shinsetsu Taishi!" Both turned red, "I-I mean, you're ambitious...And very kind."_

_He wiped away the last tears and grinned, "I love this name! Do you want a nickname too?"_

"_H-Huh? But I like my name...Only between us 'kay?"_

"_What do you think of Yuugen? (2)"_

_She blushed even harder, "It's...Erm...Not bad..." and tried to regain her composure by changing the subject, "A-Anyway...What do you want to do later?" She questioned as she plopped down on the grass._

_He scratched the back of his head, "I wish...I could become a doctor."_

"_Why?"_

"_If I tell you, you promise you won't laugh?"_

"_Hmm..."_

"_When I've got some free time, I spend hours in our huge library and I've read tons of books about medicine...I think it's awesome! I wish I could become one of those who heal the world for the children of tomorrow!" He declared fiercely._

_She laughed._

"_Hey! You promised!" He pouted._

"_Sorry sorry," She said, not feeling sorry at all, "It was kinda cheesy but very cool," She grinned widely, "I'm certain you'll accomplish your dream someday!" _

"_I'll definitely break free!"_

* * *

Nami smiled softly, "This was a very sweet story Shin-san..." due to his childhood friend–_first love_, he did find the courage to break free and achieved his dream...Though she didn't know why but she felt like his story wasn't complete...

"A-ah, you think so?" He chuckled awkwardly, then stood up, "W-well, anyway, I have some work to do!"

Watching him reaching the door, Nami asked curiously, "Ne, why did you keep your nickname?"

Before closing it, he replied as he glanced over his shoulder and winked, "Shinsetsu's cooler!"

* * *

**Day 4**

The bouquet of yellow moonbeams fell on the ground as Nami dashed toward the small body twenty meters in front of her, "Ryuusei!" She shrieked as she crouched down, biting forcefully her lips and looking terrified.

His face was white and distorted in pain; he was clutching his chest as he was gasping for air.

A heart attack.

"Chie, go get Shin NOW!" She shouted, then turned back to him. She couldn't understand what was going on, so she grabbed his hand as she blinked away some tears, "Hold on, hold on please!"

Shin sprinted towards them five minutes later with his hands full on medicines, "Hang on Ryuu'!"

He saved him just on time, but Ryuusei fainted right after. He carried him to his office and laid his body down on the bed, then took several deep breath. He had almost failed him...

Nami, still panicked, asked, "W-what just happened there? He was...He was..." She was confused and truly afraid for him.

He sighed, then turned to her, Ryuu' hated to talk about it...But it wasn't a secret anymore, "He has a frail heart."

"Is..Is it serious?"

Shin preferred to stay silent.

* * *

**Day 9**

Ryuu was walking like a tightrope artist on a low stone wall as he hummed a song. He was in a good mood, Shin had promised he'd make his favorite meal tonight! Nami glanced at him with a frown, he hadn't said anything about his heart attack and she couldn't let it go.

She ceased walking," Ne," she began, "about the incident last time..."

He opened one single eye to her, "Don't wanna talk about it." he replied curtly.

She glared but then he started to sing, for she'd stop pestering him this way, "The wonders of living, the wonders of dying~"

She understood she had to wait until he'd open up to her.

* * *

**Day 14**

"_Ne~ Na–mi! Come play with us!" Exclaimed Luffy as he jumped around, "Everyone's playing! Even Zoro!" He mumbled, "We had to force him to wake up though..."_

"_C'mon let's play Nami!" Repeated Chopper._

"_Nami, I've got tons of stories to tell you!" Said Usopp as he lifted up his chin._

"_Hurry up wench." Grunted Zoro._

"_Nami-swan~!"_

"_Nee-san!"_

"_Nami-san, can I see your panties before?"_

"_We're waiting for you Nami."_

"_What are we playing?" Asked Nami, giggling at his monkey antics and smiling at everyone as she leaned over the railings._

"_What you want! Shishishi!" He stretched his arm and pulled her to him. Once she was with him on the deck, his arm secured around her waist and his face dangerously close, he continued, "But...I guess you like hide and seek huh?"_

_His onyx orbs were piercing right through her soul and she could feel his warm breath tickling her skin. Inhaling the familiar musky scent, she caressed his cheek, and then crashed her lips against his._

_The morning sky turned a little brighter, the laws of gravity seemed to have vanished and the temperature rose._

_A nice dream indeed._

Nami woke up with a small smile tugged on her lips. She'd have to thank Shin for the sleeping pills...She slept great, she hadn't any dark circles under her eyes (she did not need cream foundation anymore); insomnia wouldn't bother her again.

But most of all, when she was dreaming, she was escaping reality.

If home was where the heart was, then her heart was still on the Sunny-Go and would always be.

* * *

**Day 19**

Nighttime, Nami had gone on a walk with Ryuu, for he didn't want to spend the evening drinking green tea like Shin did. What an ossan...

The ten year old rose his voice, his eyes fixed upon the stars, "Do you miss them?" He asked, breaking the silent moment.

The orange-haired stopped in her thoughts as she blinked, "Huh?"

"Your friends, do you miss them?"

Nami looked away, "Yes."

He furrowed his brows, "You shouldn't have left them. But I guess you're lucky, this island's so small and secluded, no one ever goes there, you're well hidden." He said dishearteningly.

Her eyes darted to the ground, "You don't understand. I had to, before I'd stop being myself. I don't want to see their looks of pity, nor their tears."

* * *

**Day 21**

Shin raised an eyebrow as he paused his pen on his desk, "Huh? You want me to tell you more about my past?"

Nami nodded in approval as she sat down. Ryuu had gone to rehearse again, and she liked to spend time with her doctor.

"Okay...But I want to learn more about you later too!"

* * *

_*Flashback, 13 years ago...*_

_Shin was sneaking out of his room in the middle of the night, trying to not wake up anyone._

"_Seriously, nii-san? You're going to see this peasant again? Father forbade you to ever go out after he had caught you last time..." Yawned his little brother as he rubbed his crystal blue eyes._

"_Shh, go back to sleep Will (3)! And don't call her like that. Ah, it'd be pretty ironic if you were to fall in love with a girl who isn't a lady..."_

"_Geh, as if. Whatever, I'm not defending you this time." He snapped as he went back under his blanket._

_The seventeen year old boy ignored his warning and dashed to their meeting place, a hill with a big camellia tree._

_His heartbeat raced the moment he saw her, she was becoming prettier everyday..."Hey!"_

_She huffed loudly, "Moh, you're late!"_

"_Sorry sorry! But you don't know how hard it is to escape the manor..."_

"_Being a prince sucks huh?" She giggled._

"_You have no idea..." He said as he sat down beside her. _

"_Ahahah, you idi–"_

"_I have something to tell you." He suddenly cut her off with a serious voice._

_She felt uneasy for some reason._

"_I..." He inhaled deeply, "I...I...I..."_

"_C'mon, just say it!" She barked as she rolled her eyes._

"_I...Love you."_

_He swore he had never seen someone turn so red in a few seconds, "A-Ah...W-Why would you say something like that...? I..I'm not sure...I don't...Err...I-I hate you for saying that!" She stuttered totally overwhelmed before scampering off._

_Shin stayed there like an idiot for awhile, agape._

_Did he just get rejected?_

_Unknown to him, his father had engaged spies...And hitmen. "Make this vermin who turned my son into a rebellious brat disappear."_

_The next day, he told his parents to fuck off and decided to go to see her because he didn't want his confession to strain their great friendship...Strange though, his father had only grinned... "Huh? Why there's a crowd in her neighborhood...And ashes floating around?" He asked to himself._

_...His pupils shrank into pinpoints as he watched her house burning completely, like the other villagers._

"_NO!" He shrieked as he ran inside, ignoring the crowd's screams and driven by the bravery rushing in his veins._

_The dark smoke prevented him from seeing clearly and his breathing became laborious, but he didn't give up. He spotted her laying on the floor ten meters further, motionless. He felt weak, but he kept going...Until a burning beam fell on him._

_He shrieked in pain, his back was boiling hot and melting, the lack of oxygen was making him feel dizzy... Slowly...He was losing consciousness...He was going to die before saving her... "...Yuu..."_

_And everything turned black._

_He woke up a few days later with a big scar on his back which he'd never lose. His father who was fuming slapped him like he never had, "You almost died!"_

_He rubbed his cheek as he asked with a quivery voice, "Yuugen...Is Yuugen alright...?"_

_His father sneered, "You mean the commoners living there? They all died in the flames. You're pathetic, you risked your life for such people...You're lucky that after you stormed off the manor, William pursued you with his guards." Then he added, "Oh, every villager is attending their funerals, it's causing a commotion, it's truly bothersome..."_

_Tears formed in his eyes, then fell like waterfalls, "You...You didn't save them...?" He asked, shaking terribly._

"_You caused their deaths."_

"_W-What?!"_

"_Never stand up against me again." He warned austerely._

_Shin sucked in his breath sharply as he suddenly felt sick and nauseous, "Y-you...YOU KILLED THEM?!"_

_He sneered._

"_YOU MURDERER!" He quickly got up and tottered towards the door, "I-I need to go to her funerals!" Shin cried out._

"_No you won't. You never belonged to her world." He said sternly as he snapped his fingers and a guard grabbed his arm. "Learn your place."_

"_YOU MONSTER! LET ME GO! I NEED TO GO!" Shin struggled to get free, but in vain. "I BEG OF YOU!"_

_His father locked him up in his bedroom and Shin cried and cried until his eyes were completely dry. He missed her burials, he was the cause of her death...It was all his fault. He didn't have the right to mourn her..._

_The next morning, when the door opened as a maid brought him his breakfast, he had already taken his decision. He had a big backpack with him. He dashed for the exit._

_Very disappointed, his father only said as he watched him leave, "Let the dogs out."_

_Shin ran, never looking back. He didn't even have the time to pass by the graveyard and depose a camellia on her tomb... He escaped the hounds, he changed his name and traveled far away from his home island but he knew...He could never escape his shame, his guilt._

* * *

At the end of his story, Nami was trying hard to fight back the tears, but she couldn't help it. She didn't need to ask, _"Do you still love her?"_ because his eyes spoke for him, _"I do."_

It was obvious; what was wrapping Shin's heart still hadn't been dealt with.

He gave her a weak smile, "It's your turn now."

Nami closed her eyes and told him the story about an idiotic raven-haired boy with rubber powers who once beat the shit out of a shark, but she didn't stop here. She had so many awesome stories to tell...Memory lane could be tragic, but also wonderful.

* * *

**Day 27**

The thunder was roaring in the dead of the night and it was raining heavily, but Nami only woke up when she heard a knock on the door.

She grunted, but got up and opened the door and saw Ryuu, pouting and fidgeting. She cocked an eyebrow, but he replied before she could ask, "I had a bad dream...And I hate thunder...Can I sleep here?"

"Come in."

She returned under the covers and he followed just after. In her arms, he fastly went back to sleep, though his slumber was far from serene.

"Hoshi-nee...(4)" He mumbled as a single tear rolled over his cheek.

She drove her fingers through his dark blue hair and awed. Her motherly instincts kicked in and for a second, she said to herself how great it'd be to have children...Then her smile faded. First, the subject of her affection's libido was nonexistent (He could have his own harem if he wanted to, but meat was the one and only love of his life...) second...

Her features darkened just to think about it.

* * *

**Day 35**

Slowly, Nami was getting closer to everyone, (for they had decided to never let her alone) even with Chie. What she didn't know was that Ryuu had ordered him to be nice with her and the owl had been very against it at first; truthfully, he couldn't care less if she died tomorrow.

Shinigamis weren't supposed to show any compassion or pity, they had to do their jobs without hesitation. They didn't even need to show themselves, they could stay invisible or change their appearances. Also, they were forbidden to get attached to a human, for they they were mortal and shinigamis weren't, they couldn't mourn someone.

Though, Chie was already an outlaw with Ryuu, he cared deeply for the violinist.

She was chatting with him and Ryuu, sitting on their favorite spot as they stared at the sun setting down. They had finished to plant sunflowers' seeds and they had done their daily visit of Heiwa village. The villagers were getting along well with the orange-haired stranger because it was nice to see a tiny bit of youth amongst elders.

"You see, everyone has a chronometer, but you, mortals, call it 'lifespan'...It's much more than that. It records everything, all your times on earth, all your life. It contained your soul. When someone's time's up, we take his chronometer and give it to our superiors."

"Mine's broken..." Muttered Nami, hugging herself.

Ryuu glanced at her and then laid down, folding his arms under his head, "Mine never worked properly."

"W-What?!" She suddenly rose her voice, surprised that he had opened up a little, "Do...Do...You know when–"

"When I'll die?" He cut her off, "No, but I know I won't reach twenty. But you know what? It doesn't matter, I was born trapped, I'm used to it now."

"Aren't you worried...?" Whispered Nami, shocked.

He shrugged, "Why should I worry? Better, why should I care? People are wasting too much time questioning about the uncertainty of the future; they forgot to live in the present. I don't want that."

His eyes switched to his violin case, "Anyway, Nami, do you want me to play you your favorite melody?"

* * *

**Day 42**

Despite Shin's ban, Nami had decided to go swimming, for they had gone to the beach. This was really, truly a bad idea. She used to be a good swimmer and yet...

She almost drowned. The water was filling her lungs and she couldn't escape this abyss. She struggled as she moved her arms and legs like mad but she was sinking down, worst than a hammer.

Horror.

Shin reacted quick, in a swift movement he took off his glasses and shirt, revealing a huge tattoo–a pair of wings and dived to save her.

He did and panicked right after, for she wasn't moving. He gave her the kiss of life over and over.

A few tears escaped Ryuu's eyes and for the time, he had called her "nee-chan!"

They took the decision to never bring her to the beach again.

* * *

**Day 50**

"How did we meet?" Repeated Ryuu as he took a bite of his bread.

"I've been living there for three years and one day, Ryuu arrived here on a rowing boat with Chie. I decided to become his foster father, I would not let a kid on his own. It's been two years now." Replied Shin, smiling.

"Oi, I ain't no kid! And I don't wanna talk 'bout my past..." He puffed out his cheeks, pouting.

Chie tried to change the subject, "Anyway, now we look like a family don't we? Shin's the daddy, Nami's the mommy and the brat is the son ahahaha!" He guffawed.

"And you're the doggy." Deadpanned Ryuu.

"N-Nami and me?! D-don't say strange things!" Stuttered Shin as his face flared red.

Nami chuckled bitterly, _'A family...'_

Shin turned his head to her then his gaze shifted to her still untouched plate, "Nami, you must eat a little." He commanded gently.

* * *

**Day 63**

"My eyes..." Rasped Nami as she commenced to panic. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat but couldn't. She staggered in her room and in an abrupt involuntary movement, she made the glass frames fell on the flooring which broke with the impact.

"_My eyes...!_" She screamed achingly as she took a step forward, tripped and joined the pictures on the flooring. Confused, she tried to pick up the pieces but it only caused her hands to get cut and bleed.

She broke down into loud cries.

Dementia.

Alerted by the noises, Shin ran to her room immediately. He embraced her, for she was gesticulating like crazy and bumping into the furnitures, "I-I'm scared!" She shrieked.

"Calm down..." Said soothingly the doctor. Despite his thin silhouette, his strength was able to stop her from moving, thanks to his journey on the seven seas.

Her voice leaking despair, she cried even harder, "I-I'm so scared...!" she sniffled and hiccuped onto his chest.

The silver-haired man could only tighten his hold around her as he bit his lower lips. "I'm sorry to have let you alone, shh...It's okay now, I'm here."

The scarlet flower was sprouting strongly every day...

Soon, it'd bloom.

* * *

**(Optional)**

_The sky was dyed in a vermillion color and every plants, trees or flowers were black, except for the scarlet spider lilies here and there._

"_Don't you think that fate is unfair?" Said a woman with long blood red hair as her eyes of the same color narrowed. She was wearing a long dress, everything about her was red._

"_Who...?" Asked Nami as she stepped forwards._

"_Death is frightening right...? Do you want to live forever...?"_

"_Who are you?"_

"_I can offer you eternity...But in exchange, give me your chronometer, sell me your soul..."_

"What the..." Whispered Nami as she shot up awake.

* * *

(1) Shiragiku means white chrysanthemum

(2) Yuugen means...Subtle grace x3 (Shin's a romantic!)

(3) Shin's Will's big brother! If you've read my first story, you know who he is and his story, but he won't appear here, because right now he's stuck on his island with fairies.

(4) Hoshi means star. (You'll understand why...)

Next chapter: Back to the mugiwaras :D!


	8. Chapter 7: Hazy realm of uncertainty

**Note**** :**...And another chapter full of dramas and emotions! YAY! x) (This fic's a rollcoaster of feelings...Ahahaha, I know, you're nearly screaming "DAMMIT BURN TWIN'"...)

For Will's caméo, you'll understand at the end of the chapter, but this story isn't really tangled to Stupid Musicals–or not at all, except for this chapter xD! (They've never been to Harmony Island, Luffy does not know anything about Nami's feelings :D! Though I did plan a sequel -sbaff-) But I think you guessed it, MC's not colorful and doesn't have fairies nor magic...

"_I am in misery,_

_there ain't nobody who can comfort me,_

_why won't you answer me?_

_The silence is slowly killing me,_

_girl you really got be bad,_

_you really got me bad,_

_I'm gonna get you back,_

_I'm gonna get you back!..." (Misery – Maroon Five)_

Chapter 7: Nautical miles apart: part II, Hazy realm of uncertainty

**The tenth week after Nami's departure**

Usopp's knees gave up on him as he stared in horror at Nami's tangerine orchards. He gaped for awhile before hiding his face with his hands in shame as he bit strongly his lips. Then, slowly, his shoulders began to shake, some mucus ran down his nose and tears were pouring through the crack of his fingers.

Luffy wasn't the only one who knew self-hatred and self-deception. Despite all his efforts, his fertilizer and his vast knowledge in gardening–He had spent two years on an island full of diverse plants for Oda's sake–Her trees were dying.

He had failed his task–and he felt he had failed her for the second time. Failing to save her trees, failing to know what was wrong with her; although he was the closest to Nami amongst the men of the crew (except of course for their captain).

A thief and a liar were meant to get along perfectly, they also (though he wasn't particularly pleased about it) were a team with Chopper called the "weakling trio" and nobody but him could understand her better when it came to strength and weaknesses. They were the same, _normal_ humans... For her, he had braved a monstrous fishman and his fears, he'd do it again if he had to.

But right now he had failed miserably; a liar had been lied to.

Bitterly ironic.

"_It's so heavy."_

* * *

**The eleventh week**

"Let's explore the island guys." Said Luffy with a very crooked and weak smile.

"Hai, hai, hai..." Replied wearily his crewmates.

They split up in groups. Zoro, Robin and Usopp; Chopper and Franky; Sanji and Brook; Luffy wanted to go on his own alone.

They didn't get the chance to look for their orange-haired nakama though, for dumb marines suddenly ambushed them, the price to pay for their popularity and for their uncommon ship. "It's the mugiwara pirates! Catch them!" Barked many of them as they pointed their guns at them.

Soon, a lot of lackeys encircled them and a random sergeant stepped forwards, "Surrender Mugiwara no Luffy!"

The mugiwaras rolled their eyes as they sighed deeply.

Zoro unsheathed his katanas and the following second, his opponents were sliced and on the ground, Sanji's kicks were so powerful that the sound of bones breaking could be heard, Robin literally crushed many of them with a giant newly sprouted limb, Usopp threw at them a few pops green and the soldiers got eaten by carnivorous plants, Chopper turned into heavy point, his punches' strength was equal to a wild beast's, some enemies saw the light as they got transfixed by Franky's beams and Brook made them bleed profusely as he swung his sword in a graceful manner.

They completely beat them up with blank and expressionless faces, without even batting an eye. They didn't bother to scream their attacks during the fight either.

The crew was just...Annoyed.

Luffy was saturating the air with sighs as he released a wave of haki effortlessly, causing several marines and the sergeant to faint and fall pitifully on the asphalt, he wasn't thrilled by a good fight–a victory in this case anymore.

With a bored expression, he returned to his initial mission. He had seen red for a long time; the red of pain, anger, hysteria...Or love; but now everything was gray.

The days were repeating over and over.

* * *

**The twelfth week**

Another isle had been turned upside down, the mugiwaras had even searched the forest, the mountains, the caves (they had discovered a treasure chest though, and they were glad about it, for without the treasurer of the ship, they were running low of Belis) the beach, _everything_.

Fruitless efforts.

The raven-haired captain turned to the cliff on his side and with only one punch, he destroyed it entirely. "But where the fuck could you be Nami...?" Then he sagged on his knees helplessly.

Slowly, their determination and hopes died, how could they stay optimistic about all of this? Their anger had vanished bit by bit to let place to another feeling...Despair.

It was so much worse. The crew had stopped their 'let's pretend' act; Sanji was no more in a puppy love mode and seemed to constantly smoke his calming nicotine (although it was pretty useless), Chopper was hiding himself in his office to cry freely, Usopp and Franky had locked themselves in their workshop, several bottles of sake had disappeared and everyone knew that their green-haired swordsman was the culprit, Robin looked very tired as if she was struck with insomnia, Brook's skull jokes had become truly gloomy...

But the worst was Luffy. He had stopped eating, sleeping and didn't try to smile anymore, he had totally stopped being himself...

* * *

**The thirteenth week**

"...IKANAI DE (DON'T GO)!" Shrieked Luffy as he suddenly woke up and sat up under the tangerine groves with beads of sweat rolling over his forehead, his hand lifted up as if he was trying to reach out for her fading image.

The same dream again.

Even the soothing and comforting citrus scent (though the trees looked...Horrible) couldn't help him to relax...He bit his lips as he lowered his head, his dark locks covering his eyes.

"Wasn't it enough Nami...?" He murmured, his heart pulsing painfully. Nami had always been the problematic child of the crew. Her presence on the Sunny-Go had been threatened so many times...Bear King, Arlong, Enel, Absalom, Shiki...Those bastards had tried to take her away from him and he had fought them all–Except for Absalom, but he'd have kicked the rotting lion's ass if he had had the chance to. He had also braved the cold and climbed up a mountain during a blizzard on Drum island for her sake.

He had always saved her.

"Wasn't all of that enough...?" He repeated as his face darkened. Dammit, he had trained for two years with Rayleigh-ossan in order to become stronger and protect his nakamas; yet why didn't she rely on his welcoming shoulder? Where did he fail?...Of who was he doubting exactly? Her trust for him?...No...His own capacity.

He took off his hat and stared at it as he sighed. "Why do you always decide everything by yourself...?"

He clenched his jaw, "I won't let you leave me. I won't let you become a memory Nami." At first, it was almost an order but now...It turned into a prayer. He closed his eyes for a few seconds...If he needed to see her, he just had to do that; he'd see her in his head.

Self-contradiction. His dreams were horrible..._But._ He could see her, touch her, talk to her when he was dreaming...

But it was nowhere near the real thing. The distance was tormenting him and she couldn't understand that. He only saw her but she never saw him. Opening his eyes, he frisked his pocket and brought up a golden ring with an orange amber on it. He had found it in the treasure chest...It was so shiny and pretty...The burglar cat would love it.

He clutched it. Her absence made him realize something...Because it was only when you had lost something that you could realize how precious it was to you. "I need you Nami." He whispered sadly.

His fury had disappeared, and instead, there was an empty feeling in his heart–a hole.

* * *

**The fourteenth week**

**In the aquarium bar, nighttime...**

"Argh, fuck it. The witch's too good at hiding." Moaned Zoro as he plopped down on the couch with an opened bottle of alcohol secured in his hand. _'And Luffy is under her spell.' _He knew that and it was making it worse...He knew it wasn't a simple crush and it was reciprocal. Give him some credit, it was painfully obvious, only idiots wouldn't notice it...Like all his crewmates, except for Robin.

He drank half of it but the archeologist interrupted his moment of consolation. "You should stop drinking." She warned as she folded her arms over her bouncy chest.

"Aa. I should." He replied dishearteningly, but took a sip of his sake.

"Enough!" She rose her voice and used her hana hana no powers, grabbed the bottle then threw it against the wall, crashing it.

Before he could say anything, she leaped onto him and took him in a strong embrace. He was taken aback but he still wrapped his arms around her. He frowned deeply as he felt his shoulder becoming wet. "I'm sorry..." He said in a murmur.

"Are we falling apart?" She questioned between two sobs, though she already knew the answer.

* * *

**Meanwhile, on the deck...**

"We're a family right?" Asked Brook as he leaned over the railings, staring at the dark horizon. The cold wind was blowing softly, there was no seagulls in the sky, only a serene atmosphere.

There was a long silence for awhile, then Franky scratched the back of his head as he answered, "Yeah...Why?"

"Then why does our home feel so cold?"

Another silence. The cyborg was at a loss of words.

"I want to cry...Though I don't have eyes to begin with, yohoho, skull joke."

* * *

**The next morning, in the kitchen...**

"Shit! Why can't I manage to do that?!" Growled the blonde chef as he lit up a cigarette, "Such a shitty atmosphere...And I can't do anything!"

Sanji was trying with his might to help his crewmates to regain their vitality and energy by preparing them healthy and delicious meals...But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how long he had studied about food and nutriments with Iva-chan, their flames seemed extinguished.

And so was his.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and puffed out his cigarette with a sad frown, "You're cruel Nami-san..."

* * *

**In the sick bay...**

"Luffy, take your sleeping pills!" Barked Chopper as he frowned at his raven-haired patient.

Luffy almost wanted to let out a scoff, but he restrained himself and said quietly, "It doesn't work."

Chopper's eyes shifted to his medicinal stuff as he muttered, "I'll give you stronger pills then."

He shrugged.

* * *

**The fifteenth week**

The mugiwaras had docked on a new island well known for its festivities and its music but not a single care was given. The sky was filled with dark clouds, the rain was pouring down ceaselessly and the wind was blowing powerfully, but again, they didn't care at all.

In time of crisis, they should be standing united. They should, but none of them were...A painful decision had to be taken.

It was for the best, for all of them, but the word "failure" left a bitter taste in their mouths.

They dragged Luffy to the aquarium bar with crestfallen expressions.

"Luffy, we need to talk."

* * *

Luffy was wandering through the crowded streets of a random town called Cello, his mind deep in a daze. The world was blur around him, he was soaked from head to toe and the heartache had come back tenfolds...He didn't know what he was doing, why he was staggering in no particular direction...Like a lost child.

He bumped into a bulky passerby and tripped on the mud. He didn't bother to stand up and remained on the ground, although people were sneering, some even laughing at him. Was he making himself look miserable? Maybe, surely. But he never gave a shit about his reputation. He fought back the tears and bared his fangs, for fear he'd let out sounds of anguish escape.

Though his despair was painted on his face.

...He was more prone to cry than he let his crewmates think...No, he was crying in his rubbery heart.

His nakamas' words were ringing in his head over and over, but his mind wouldn't register them, he couldn't understand them, so he'd rather let his mind go blank and numb himself from his surroundings. It was killing him.

* * *

_*Flashback, thirty minutes ago in the aquarium bar...*_

"_What do you want to talk about guys? We've got an island to check...Let's go..." Said Luffy, feeling veritably uneasy as he glanced at his nakamas._

_Sanji looked so worn out as he smoked his cigarette, sitting open-legged on the couch with his elbow resting on his knee, his face half hidden by the palm of his hand. Understandable, the chef had been exhausting himself, using all his haki whenever they docked somewhere...He had stopped to be the casanova of the ship too, for no sexy natives would divert him from his duty; only Nami-swan was in his mind._

_Usopp, Chopper and Franky deliberately avoided their captain's intense gaze and it seemed they were going to cry._

_Brook was pulling a string of his guitar mindlessly, his skull lowered and a gloomy aura around him._

_Zoro and Robin, usually the two crewmates who showed the less any emotions...Looked sad, forlorn._

_But he forgot that himself looked like nothing, for dark circles had become permanent under his eyes, and the fact that meat was tasteless caused him to look like nothing near the goofball he used to be; he looked as tired as everyone, if not worse._

_Luffy was so worried. His acute sense of observation was screaming to him that something was so wrong. He dreaded that he knew what was the cause of this sudden conversation...He had observed his crewmates' behaviors and it was easy to notice that the willpower which had carried and driven them was gone._

_It was clear in their eyes...They had given up, hadn't they?_

"_No Luffy, we're tired." Replied Sanji. Those words approved Luffy's fears. _

_They were sick of their unsuccessful search, sick to see their hopes shatter, sick of everything. How many times had they gone throughout storms without knowing what to do? How many times had they exhausted themselves as they looked for nonexistent clues?_

"_W-What...?" Said the captain, playing dumb...He couldn't believe it._

"_We're tired of looking for someone who seems to have vanished from this world..." Announced the sniper as he sobbed, still not daring to glance at him._

"_D-Don't say that...C'mon, let's go explore the island guys!" Luffy broke in a cold sweat._

"_No Luffy, we can't take this anymore." Muttered Zoro before looking down._

"_B-But I'm sure we'll find her! We'll have to continue!" The gomu gomu no user's voice gradually broke down as well._

_Franky rose his voice, "What about our sanity mugiwara?! We've done nothing but that for months already!" He shook his head, "It was completely pointless!" _

_Luffy felt his throat going tight as he swallowed with difficulty, "N-No, I'm sure we're almost there!"_

"_Luffy-san," Began calmly Brook, "We need to stop this. Look at us, we're merely the shadows of ourselves and we've been putting aside our dreams...Nami-san wouldn't want that."_

"_I-I'm so sick of this!" Squealed Chopper before crying onto Robin's lap._

"_BUT SHE'S OUR NAKAMA!" Yelled Luffy as he clenched his fist, as if he was ready to fight them all. "WE NEED TO FIND HER!"_

"_Listen to us shitty captain!" Barked Sanji, "We've been going in circles for months, we can't do that anymore!" His features saddened, "We're falling apart Luffy..."_

"_NO. JUST NO. WE'LL CONTINUE TO LOOK FOR HER! IT'S A CAPTAIN ORDER!" Shrieked Luffy as his haki oozed dangerously around him._

_Robin inhaled deeply, "Don't pull out the captain card, it won't work. Luffy, you must understand," she paused for awhile, then continued with a voice as soft as possible, "We failed her. Nami doesn't want to be found, we lost her the night we let her escape..."_

_She took several deep breaths again but her voice cracked down, "We must let her go."_

_Luffy's eyes widened as his heart paced, "WE CAN'T! SHE'S OUR NAVIGATOR!" His shout was similar to the cry of a pained animal._

_None of the mugiwaras dared to say, "...Not anymore."_

_The little reindeer spoke up as he suggested something, trying desperately to calm down Luffy..."Then at the very least, let's take a substitute. We need a true navigator."_

_...It only added oil to the fire, "WHAT THE?! WE WON'T REPLACE HER EITHER!"He shrieked, then his face turned somber, "I don't want another navigator...I can't...I...AHHH!" He screamed suddenly before rushing outside, running away from them._

_As they watched him storming off, his nakamas lowered their heads._

* * *

Sometimes in life, there were moments where the situation was desperate; you needed to give up and follow your reason. Only morons wouldn't give up.

...Luffy had never been the sharpest tool in the shed or a man of reason but a man who would follow his heart and damn, it was still fighting on.

Another navigator than Nami, just this thought caused him to grimace. Since the very beginning of their journey, she had been there to guide him–Nobody but her could lead the Thousand Sunny to Raftel.

Letting her go? How about like, _never_.

But...From his captain's perspective, he knew that his nakamas were suffering and the situation had to change for their dreams, their happiness...He knew it too well...

So here he was, laying on the ground under the cold incessant rain, pondering about what he should do, torn apart between his heart and his consciousness.

Luffy had experienced many kinds of pain and yet, it still hurt. It already hurt when they all had been separated, he had missed them so much but he had been focused on his training, he hadn't had the time to mope around back there...But right now it was different; his thoughts were only focused on her, whether it was day or night...Why was he so obsessed?

_'You're worse than sea stone to me Nami.'_

_'You're my weakness.'_

"Please hold on, we're nearly there! You said you wanted to see his performance, it'll begin soon! We're on Chouwa island remember? I'll carry you." Said softly a manly voice who passed among the crowd of strangers.

"Hun." Replied a rasped and rough voice...Which belonged to a woman?

Luffy's heartbeat nearly stopped.

Then raced like crazy within the next second, because in this very strange and weird timber of voice, there was a small hint of a tone he used to hear...Every day. The small hint of a tune he used to love to hear.

Her tune.

With some troubles and agape, he got up, shaking. He scrutinized around and saw far away in the crowd...A glimpse of a peculiar orange's shade under an umbrella. It was her right? This orange couldn't be mistaken...He wasn't desperate enough to see and hear things right?

"Nami." He called quietly, still astonished; he involuntarily held his breath.

His feet finally decided to work and he walked forwards, his pace quickening with each step.

"Nami," He repeated as he felt tears surfacing, but he quickly restrained them, not now. "Nami!" The troubled teenager began to run, not caring about the fact that he was bumping into everybody, "NAMI!" But he was losing sight of the orange-haired, "NAMI MATTE!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs as he sprinted.

He lost her among the citizens of Cello town, "_PLEASE_ _MATTE!" _He released all his emotions in a loud and long plead... _"IKANAI DE!"_

* * *

_**Two hours later, on the Sunny-Go...**_

"GUYS!" Yelled the captain like mad as he extended his arms and rocketed himself on the deck, "GUYS!" He repeated even louder. He had gotten lost, for he had continued to look for her in vain and had finally made his way back on the ship...

Alerted by his shrieks, his nakamas hurried to him and blinked incredulously as they saw his face. His pupils had shrank considerably for some reason and he was...Completely pale, covered in mud and drenched at the same time.

"I SAW HER! I SWEAR I SAW NAMI!"

* * *

Yup, Chouwa means harmony in japanese, the island of music! (so original XD) = Technically, the mugiwaras are on Harmony island!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks a lot for the reviews guys, they always warm my heart! :') The mugiwaras weren't all cheerful I know...But I don't see how they could be in this situation xD. (If they were partyin' hard it would be strange, wouldn't it?)

You've waited for it since the very start right? Their reunion...Ahahahah! Who knows, maybe they will, maybe they won't...I'M EVIL!

"IKANAI DE" Just sounded more awesome in my opinion x)


	9. Chapter 8: Fuyou na namida, koi te nani?

**Note** : It's both Nami and the mugiwaras' POV...This chapter is long...Though I couldn't describe every frigging day passing by, 'cause otherwise it would never end! XD Yet; Nami's is quite happy, because there are ups _and_ downs.

**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: There's an optional part in this chapter; if you like very dark stories ignore it :) and all of this will be explained at the chapter's end, pretty please read it!**

"_...Because I have someone whom I love so much,_

_I'm here by your side, protecting you,_

_I'm so glad that I was born on this earth that connects me to you..." _

_(Sayonara Solitaire- Chrno Crusade)_

_Chapter 8: Fuyou na namida, koi te nani? (Unwanted tears, what is love?)_

"_Time waits for no one" -The girl who leapt through time_

**Day 68**

"...I'll tell you...What real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your heart and soul to someone who smites it..." Read soothingly Shin as he glanced at his companions beside him, blinked, and then closed his old book of which the title was 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens.

They all had fallen asleep during his reading. Ryuu had a bubble coming out of his nose and used Chie as a fluffy pillow, Nami smiled in her slumber...

What a serene evening...Today hadn't been so bad, except for Nami who tripped and sprained her ankle...

He chuckled quietly as he put the book down then turned his head to the lit fireplace. He'd read them the rest tomorrow night.

* * *

**Day 75**

Nami was bent over a toilet bowl throwing up everything she could; a few tears escaped her darkened burgundy orbs as she trembled terribly. Beside her, Shin was holding her long wavy hair in order to not let them get tainted by the vomit and had a hand clamped on her shoulder.

"Why did you steal drugs from my office...?" He scolded with a soft frown. "You took too much pills..."

After she had finished to regurgitate all her drugs, she lifted up and turned her head to him. His frown deepened as he saw her tear-glazed eyes. All of a sudden, she wrapped her arms around him and sniffled hard, "I don't want to die...!" she felt the tears trailing down now as her face contorted in a pained expression, "I want to live longer...!"

_'I'll do anything, I'll pay anything, I'll give anything to have more time.'_

Shin hugged her back and patted her head as he broke down, "I know..." then he braced himself and murmured, "But never do that again. You have to be brave Nami." though she was oblivious to his features saddening deeply.

She frowned and took several deep breaths; then she bit her lips as she tried to blink away the tears, "..."

Through the pain and strife, even if Nami couldn't be saved, she did need to be brave...Ah, who was she trying to fool? She was pretending again.

What a sick and twisted survival game.

* * *

**Day 80**

The whole family was sharing a huge blanket, sitting on their favorite spot with green tea and hot cocoa as they gazed at the meteor shower. The shooting stars were illuminating the vast night sky.

"Dream big and reach out for the stars..." Murmured gently Ryuu next to Nami as he clutched his star pendant.

She blinked, "Huh...?"

"That's what my nee-chan always said..." His voice was becoming quieter.

"...A sister?" Nami feigned a surprised expression as her heart warmed up a little, he was finally opening up to her, though the past tense made her cringe inwardly.

"Yes...Her name was Hoshi, and she was the best nee-chan ever...I miss her..." He whispered very quietly before closing his glossy eyes and falling asleep, his head resting on her shoulder.

Though it was hard to read Chie, Nami saw true concern in his golden eyes and Shin smiled sadly. After the last shooting star passed by, they decided to all go to sleep and the doctor carried his son with Nami following behind, wearing a tender smile.

* * *

**Day 86**

Nami clenched her fists, inhaled deeply and then dared to take a peek at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes full of shadows narrowed as she tried to focus. Her hair which used to be all shiny looked a little dull now and she had lost quite a bit of weight, she could notice her ribs under her tank top...

"Nami, why did you lock the door?" Asked the doctor behind it with a hint of fear in his voice.

She twitched unanticipatedly and punched the mirror which shattered into pieces then she sagged on her knees, lowering her head.

"Nami, answer me!" He yelled as he banged on the door, distraught.

Some blood was trailing down her hand, red stains of the flooring, but she didn't care about the pain; that she actually hadn't, due to the numbness of her limb.

There were moments like that, where she'd lose it and she knew that those where she was lucid would become rarer. Insanity was like a crow devouring the flesh of her brain very slowly, for she'd be completely aware of her turning crazy day by day then.

"Why would you do that Nami?!" Shrieked Luffy next to her.

As a reply, she laughed hysterically while covering her face with her hands, her fingers scratching her skin as if she wanted to rip it off.

"Shit, what's happening in there?!" Shin broke the door open.

He froze, _'Oh Oda.'_ then snapped out of it, hurried to her and injected with a syringe a heavy dose of morphine in her veins. The following hour, he took away her bedroom door's lock.

* * *

**Day 88**

Ryuu was worried as he was walking in a street of Heiwa, Chie flying freely above him. He was checking over his shoulder constantly, but still feared that she might not follow behind...And she wasn't. Not anymore. He frowned at her who was standing still in front of the hat shop.

Shin had gone to a patient's house, he was baby sitting her alone. Although he liked her very much, he didn't really know if he could handle it...

"Nee-chan?" He called, approaching her. "Nee-chan!" He repeated louder.

He grabbed her hand, "Hey, we gotta go to the grocery!" He barked as he tried to drag her away.

The orange-haired woman remained motionless, her eyes fixed upon the window display. She let out a small gasp.

His frown deepened as he glanced at the object of her fascination too. "A straw hat...?" He murmured to himself, then he looked back at her...Was it the light or there were tears in her eyes...? "You want it? I can buy it for you if you want to!" He exclaimed nervously.

She shook her head, "No thanks." She replied with a weak voice as she gave him a gentle smile. "Let's go...?"

The ten year old wasn't sure if she was in her right state of mind and smiled back at her, uncertain, "Okay."

Though, he noticed as they walked away that she couldn't tear her eyes off the hat.

* * *

"_Ne, before you know it you may end up dead."_

"_Tick tock here goes the clock."_

"_The ugly tale of a life gone so quickly."_

_Nami opened her eyes and found herself unchained on the ground with a collar made of scarlet spider lilies. In front of her stood a huge yew tree with red fruits and raptors perched on one of the branches. Next to it she could see a tomb. Hers, since there was her name on it._

_She yelped when they appeared in front of her._

"_Luffy! Guys!" She called as her eyes watered. She tried to move her arms and free herself, but she only made her limbs bleed._

"_You can't move, you're unchained to your disease."_

"_What a tragic heart."_

"_Love and ego rest in peace."_

_The collar tightened around her neck, causing her to suffocate and gasp desperately for air. "I...Want...To...Live." She choked out as she cried hard._

"_Such a pitiful way to live."_

_While her nakamas were walking towards the light, she was fading away in the darkness. The raptors snickered before flying down towards her and began to devour everything._

Nami woke up, panting heavily and with her entire body trembling.

Maybe these sleeping pills weren't a good idea...And she should cease to think about them.

* * *

**Day 96**

On this cloudy day, a small drizzle was falling down and the whole family had accompanied Ryuu to the graveyard, for it was the anniversary of Hoshi's death. They deposed white chrysanthemums on her tomb, though Shin had told to Nami earlier that there was no body in the coffin; it was purely symbolic to Ryuu; and he had never been so glad that the day his foster father had announced to him he had saved enough Belis to offer to his sister a grave place.

He did not shed a single tear until night came and he edged his way into Nami's room, where he was welcomed with wide open arms.

He confessed to her everything; and in that moment, Nami knew his strong shell shattered, he was just a little boy, too little to carry such a heavy weight on his shoulders.

They cried in each other's arms.

* * *

_*Flashback, three years ago...*   
_

_The Chisaii were a cute family, Ryuu's parents were stringed instrument makers, his life was bound to music. They lived in a pretty house...Everything was perfect, although Ryuu was born with heart issues like his father. He loved his family but most of all his nee-chan who was the best, she was very beautiful, wise, reliable, always laughing and smiling..._

_When their father died due a heart attack, everything broke down. Their mother committed suicide by hanging herself the following night. __They'd always remember her deathly white face of which a mad grin was adorning the features._

_Ryuu cried in his sister's arms, but the fifteen year old braced herself, for she had to be strong and protect her otouto._

"_It's just you and I now."_

_She replaced her parents and almost killed herself at work because she had to earn enough Belis to allow them to eat every day. Their parents had left no savings, they had lived a life of artists...__The dark-blue haired boy had never adored more his nee-chan. Despite their difficult situation as orphans, Ryuu was happy. His sister was truly the best, she was always giving him the biggest part of the sweet bun they had bought earlier, always there to comfort him with her delicate voice._

_For his birthday, she offered him a new and magnificent violin, she had worked on it for months._

"_Why is there a star engraved on it?" He asked innocently as he grinned widely, unable to contain his joy._

_She winked at him, "It's my signature!"_

_For one year, they lived like that, as a merry family. Ryuu often dreamed about becoming the best violinist in the world and he loved to play to Hoshi her favorite melody while she sang the lyrics, for her pure voice was the prettiest he had ever heard, though he was a bit biased. To him, she could have been a singer, yet she said she'd rather keep their parents' shop._

_But one night, when a storm was menacing to appear, bandits arrived to their island. They plundered and burned everything they could, if they caught a young woman they'd rape her, children or elders they'd murder them all with no mercy._

_The sixteen year old reacted fast and packed a few things, like some clothes, provisions and water and never losing her self-control she said, "We have to leave this island as soon as possible." Ryuu however, insisted to take with him his treasure–his violin._

_Their eyes widened as they rushed outside and saw...A chaos. People were screaming and running everywhere for dear life, they could hear frightening shrieks here and there mixed with gun shots and deafening explosions._

_They ran throughout the town, never stopping even if the sight of dying people sickened them, but a bandit noticed them and barked as he pointed his gun towards Ryuu, "Shit! They're gonna call the marines!" And pulled the trigger._

_Time seemed to slow down as the eight year old watched in horror his nee-chan throwing herself between him and the bullet; she took right in her stomach then fell on her itouto._

_Someone called for the rascal and he left reluctantly, not without firing another bullet though. Hoshi shielded Ryuu again and took it straight on her back. __Shaking like he never had, he carried with difficulty his sister to a dark alleyway. She was coughing up a lot of blood and in her amethyst eyes he could see...Fear?_

"_Don't move nee-chan! I'm going to get a doctor!" Exclaimed Ryuu as he broke in a cold sweat._

_She grabbed his hand before he could stand up, "No, stay here..."_

"_B-But you need help!" The tears were streaming down unconsciously, "SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE! ANYBODY!" He shrieked as loud as he could._

_She squeezed firmly his hand, "Be quiet...You're going to inform them where we are." She said quietly between two coughs._

_All this blood made Ryuu nauseous but he couldn't look away, "T-Then what should I do?!" His heartbeat was very irregular and he clutched his chest, for the pain was unbearable._

"_Tell me...Our motto." Her voice was becoming fainter and fainter by the minute as her eyelids felt heavy._

_He sniffled and hiccuped loudly, "Dream big and reach out for the stars."_

"_That's right...Keep that in mind..." Slowly, her eyes closed by themselves, the pain...Was vanishing as she felt cold and a numbness taking over her, "Fulfill your dreams." She squeezed his hand one last time, "...You must go...You must live–"and she stopped short as her grasp loosened completely._

"_Nee-chan?" Called Ryuu, "Nee-chan!" he began to shake her violently, "Wake up! Y-You gotta get up! P-Please!"_

_Realization struck him as his pupils shrank terribly and his heart pulsed painfully as if he had been stabbed several times._

_He bit his lips too strongly, making them bleed, then with a quivery hand he took off her star pendant and placed it around his neck before kissing her forehead, "Y-You'll b-be the greatest s-star in the s-sky!" He whimpered as he stood up on his weak knees and staggered towards the port. He wasn't able to stop the tears though._

"_You must live." Was her last words and he would comply._

_A scary white-haired man with wings of the same color appeared out of nowhere and looked down at her corpse, "So who do we have here..." His golden eyes shifted to his death list in his hand, "Chisaii Hoshi...Laying down your life for your beloved ones is the noblest way to die..." He commented, slightly impressed._

"_Who are you?" _

_He turned to the entity next to him, "I'm a shinigami and I'm taking your soul. Do you have any unfinished business? 'Cause it'd suck if you had one."_

_Hoshi shook her head, "No. I protected him until I died. I...I...am just scared that he's all alone now."_

_These words surprised the shinigami...No, they moved him, for the first time he was touched by a human. __Even dead, she cared more about her otouto's life._

"_Do you have any last wish? I can...Grant you one." He asked, although he was going to get into troubles for that later._

"_Can you protect him for me? He has a frail heart and I won't rest in peace until I know he's safe..."_

_The man blinked as he saw her determined eyes, "I'll take care of him." He replied solemnly. His co-workers often said he had a soft side, and it was true. Though...How was he supposed to protect someone who couldn't see him?_

_As an answer, she smiled. She could go now._

_Chie used his powers and turned her into an amethyst orb, but before taking her where he had to, he muttered something and her corpse shone in a golden color, then transformed into stardust._

_He was so going to get scolded by his superiors but he approached the boy crying his heart out on a rowing boat in his owl form. Ryuu lifted up his head to see him and he understood that his frail heart was serious..._

"_Hello, I'm Chie. I promised to your sister to take care of you."_

* * *

**Day 105 (Present time)**

The little group had used Nami's submarine and had docked on Chouwa island for seven days already. It wasn't that far and the submarine was very fast (pretty useful). Ryuu had applied to the music contest and had passed like a boss the qualifications with 'Bink no Sake', 'Kaze ni naru' and 'Ketsui no asa ni' he was amongst the finalists.

Today was a rainy day.

Awaiting for the big finale, Shin and Nami left him in order to let him rehearse in peace. Moreover, they weren't interested in the others' performance, they'd come back only for his, which was of course, the last.

Under an umbrella and with Nami clinging to her doctor's arm, they could have been described as a couple...They wandered throughout the streets, for this was such a very cool city, colorful and all...After their little walk, Shin decided to pass by their hotel before going back to the event hall, for his orange-haired patient didn't look good at all and needed more pills.

"So...Far...Where...?" Rasped Nami as she tripped and almost fell. "Tired..."

"Please hold on, we're nearly here! You said you wanted to see his performance, it'll begin soon! We're on Chouwa island remember? I'll carry you." Said softly Shin.

She replied bluntly, "Hun."

Glancing at the people around them, the silver-haired man blinked as a bead of sweat rolled his forehead when he saw a muscular man with sandy blond hair, strangely familiar. _'Oh...Hell no.' _He picked her up bridal style and hurried with her towards their hotel while she held the umbrella, only a few orange locks could be seen under it.

Shin thought he heard someone call for Nami in the mass but he quickly disregarded it, they had no time to stop and chat with people...It was Ryuu's turn soon and also he did _not_ want to meet...His brother.

* * *

**In the event hall...**

The audience was applauding and cheering impatiently the last contestant. He entered the stage with the brightest grin they had never seen, though some people scoffed at his attitude. The dark-haired boy wasn't wearing a smoking or fancy clothes, he didn't look conceited or pompous like the others...He was just there, with his casual clothes and smiley face.

"What are you going to play?" Asked a man in the panel of judges.

Ryuu's grin grew even wider...Her favorite song. The song they used to play together so many times... "Amazing grace." He replied simply.

"Isn't it a bit ambitious?" Sneered someone in the audience.

"He's gonna fail." Murmured another.

"I would've liked 'We are' more..."

Ryuu heard them, but he didn't flinch at all...He restrained himself to go and spit out in their eyes though. He placed his violin on his collarbone, closed his eyes and started to play solemnly.

Many gasped. The way he played was amazing and soon, everyone began to listen with their hearts, some even sang along.

"_Amazing grace, how sweet the song that saved a wretch like me..."_

"_I once was lost, but now I'm found..."_

"_Was blind, but now I see..."_

The violinist's heartbeat was achingly unsteady, the pressure and the stress, along with the fact that he was transmitting all his emotions via his instrument was way too much for his heart, his body was slightly trembling and he was sweating a lot but he never winced.

Nami, Shin, Chie and several other persons in the room felt their eyes becoming humid and Ryuu himself couldn't stop the tears.

Under the spotlight, he was standing still and shining with glory. Nostalgia engulfed him and all those sunny memories spent with her popped in his mind which warmed his heart.

As he played the last note, the applause was so loud that it almost broke the house. Without doubts, he had won the trophy.

Ryuu let himself fall on the ground then, still grinning.

* * *

**(Optional: An elegy)**

After a moment of panic, Ryuu was carried to the closest infirmary due to a severe heart attack. It was futile, for he knew that his time was up. He just knew it. Although Chie was taking care of his case, he had never told him the exact date, Ryuu hadn't wanted to know back then; knowing exactly when you were going to die...Could make you paranoid. Did he cry? No, because he had accomplished his dream...

His new family was crying around him as he was laying in a bed, his trophy on the bedside table. He loved them and they loved him back...No, he wasn't scared to face his death. Nami who had knelt down next to him grasped his hand...

Seeing Ryuu surrounded by his loved ones made her realize...How she wished it could the same for her and yet, she couldn't afflict them with her disease...Why was she feeling lonely? Did she still have the right to wish to be a part of _his_ life...? No.

He squeezed her hand and murmured, "Nami-nee..." Then he turned to his father and his friend, "I love you all guys."

Shin sniffled hard, "W-We do too...!"

"I'm done." He whispered as he smiled weakly.

And he drifted off to a peaceful and endless slumber, leaving the others crying until their eyes were dry.

The shinigami had never cried like that in his whole existence. He used his powers and a bright golden aura enveloped him, then his body turned into stardust and flew by the window, for Ryuu had said to him that, "It's such a cool way to go!"

Chie took his soul and flew away with him. he had promised to himself that he'd help him to reunite with his sister...

Somewhere far above, a sixteen year old girl opened her welcoming arms. "Ryuu!"

"Nee-chan!" He exclaimed as he hugged her with all his might.

Somewhere in the sky, a little star was born and had found its place next to another one.

* * *

**On the Sunny-Go...**

"I SAW HER! I SWEAR I SAW NAMI!"

It took a few seconds before the mugiwaras registered what he said. Sanji massaged his temples and sighed, "Let's go back inside."

"W-WAIT! LET'S GO FIND HER!" Exclaimed Luffy as he waved his arms frantically and then followed them to the dining room.

Once inside, he watched completely bewildered his nakamas sitting down tranquilly around the table. Their lack of reaction...Surprised him, no, angered him...?

"W-What are you doing guys?! Oi!" He yelled as he clenched his trembling fists.

The archeologist pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her brown eyes as she sighed, "Luffy, did you take your sleeping pills yesterday night?"

No, he didn't..."Why are you asking that?! W-Whatever, let's go find her now!"

Zoro narrowed his eyes, "After our conversation, suddenly you saw the witch...What a coincidence..." He muttered as he crossed his arms.

Usopp looked away and mumbled sadly, "I didn't think he was _that_ desperate..."

Chopper grabbed Luffy's wrist, "Luffy, you look a little sick, you should lay down in the sick bay. I'm going to give you some medicines–"

"YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?!" Shrieked Luffy as he yanked away the small doctor's grasp, more than appalled.

No, none of the mugiwaras did right now; their captain didn't need their answer to know it.

"If you saw her...Then describe to us how nee-san looked." Said Franky as he furrowed his brows, dubious.

The gomu gomu no user gulped, "I...don't know. I only saw her orange hair."

The chef lit a cigarette, "I think you should listen to Chopper and go to sleep."

He ground his teeth and frowned deeply, "BELIEVE ME! I veritably saw her...! This shade of orange...It's her!"

"Then why didn't you pursue her?" Questioned Brook skeptically.

"I tried but...I...Lost her in a crowd..."

It truly saddened the mugiwaras to see him in this state...It was a vain attempt to make them continue their search...The little reindeer turned into heavy point and grabbed both of Luffy's arms, "Come with me to the sick bay..."

"NO!" Struggled Luffy, "S-Sanji, please use your haki!" To his nakamas, his voice sounded like a child's wail.

Said person puffed out his cigarette and then unexpectedly slammed his fist on the table, "Despite all we told you...You still haven't given up?!"

Luffy growled as a vein popped on his forehead, "What you don't understand is that I never will!" He released a powerful wave of haki causing Chopper to let him go reluctantly, "SANJI USE YOUR HAKI _NOW_!" He ordered with an intense voice, with the stature of a true captain.

The chef flinched, slightly taken aback, grunted but obeyed, for their captain could impose his status when he wanted to. He shut his eyes and scanned the whole island...He gave all his strength left to concentrate...He frowned deeply, then opened his eyes silently.

"...So...? What did you see Sanji...?" Asked hesitantly Usopp.

"I could sense three orange-haired persons, one leaving the island with a great speed." He replied bluntly, not convinced at all, for he didn't feel Nami-swan's aura which was usually radiant.

"ONE OF THEM IS HER! I'M SURE OF IT!" Shrieked Luffy as his lips formed a very small smile. "LET'S GO!"

Deadly silence from his nakamas.

Then, Robin sighed and finally said with a stern voice, "Luffy, if it's not her, we'll stop this unreasonable quest."

"This is the last time." She meant it, and everyone around her agreed.

The mugiwaras didn't believe that they'd find her, but seeing their captain so helpless like that...How could they not comply...?

* * *

**Five minutes later on Chouwa island...**

"GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY!" Yelled Luffy as he unceremoniously pushed anyone on his path while sprinting like crazy.

His nakamas either mentally sweat-dropped or face-palmed as they ran by his sides...Sanji was exhausting himself and guiding them to an orange-haired.

"Not her." Muttered their captain as he released a woman who seemed more than scared by his face.

They rushed to the next one, "Not her either."

"It has to be the one leaving the island!" He exclaimed as he suddenly whirled around and ran back to the Thousand Sunny.

They sighed and followed him...

* * *

**Several hours later on the Sunny-Go, nighttime...**

Led by the observation Haki, the mugiwaras had docked on a very small and unnoticeable island and Sanji was resting in the sick bay due to exhaustion. The others were also completely worn out, they had used a Coup de Burst and did everything to sail faster.

Luffy's mental state worried his crew-mates. He looked feverish and he still hadn't calmed down...If this orange-haired person wasn't the right one...They shivered to just think about it.

As soon as they had arrived here, he had left them there on the ship and dashed for it on his own. The shook up teenager reached a little village and grabbed the shoulders of the first random person passing by who squeaked for help as he saw the bloodshot red eyes of Luffy.

"Do...You," The gomu gomu no user was panting heavily, "Is there a Nami here?" He rasped.

The man pointed with a shaky finger at a thatched cottage on the top of a hill. He didn't even get to blink that this mad raven-haired boy had already left.

He ran and ran until he saw the cottage, but stopped immediately as something orange caught his eyes on the left. Inhaling and exhaling loudly; he cautiously approached and spotted a woman with long and wavy hair, wearing an oversized white sweater and black leggings, sitting over the edge of a cliff and staring silently at the sea in front of her, alone. It was dark and he couldn't see clearly, but Luffy was never wrong with his instincts.

It was her. His heart skipped many beats.

"N-Nami." He called quietly, his voice lightly quivering.

The woman twitched and slowly turned around, her eyes were covered by her orange bangs.

"I-I f-found you..."

This fucking hide and seek game was done.

She made an abrupt movement as if she wanted to escape but Luffy's impulses kicked in; he hurriedly jumped on her and took her in a strong and unflinching embrace, causing both of them to fall amid the iced flowers and some fireflies to fly away.

His arms were wrapped around her like a warm blanket, protecting her from the rifle winds of winter, protecting her from anything in the world.

And just like that, he broke down as he buried his head in the crook of her neck. He let all his bottled up emotions overflow, same for his tears. Luffy's duality of feelings reached its paroxysm right now. Tears of pain, of relief, of sheer joy...They were streaming down as his heart was burning, his bold action made his heartbeat pound with great trepidations; though her in his arms, it felt just right.

Her entire body stiffened by his touch, she was more rigid than a statue; however she didn't say a word, simply feeling his breath was enough to paralyze her.

The rubber boy had thought that he'd have so many things to say and words to convey when this would happen, howbeit they were spinning around in his mind chaotically. He couldn't really turn his feelings into words, for they were moving from inside to out.

The furious tirade he had wanted to tell her...Why couldn't he say it?

_'I veritably hate your guts Nami. You can't call that a friendship! Do you know how much it hurts each time you leave?! Do you know how much it kills me?! It's unbearable, you cowardly tangerine! You have no idea about what we've been through for you! Your absence caused everyone to suffer! I was deeply worried for you! This love thingy, it's so bitter!'_

"N-Nami you _jerk_!" He cried out as he tightened his hold.

The confession he had wanted to tell her...Why couldn't he say it?

_'But Nami...Life's much better with you. Without you...It's just not the same, something's missing. I'd travel a thousand miles more just to see you because I need you. If you ever get lost...I'll find you. These feelings I don't understand...They're only for you and when you smile, they're kinda sweet too...I don't get it, what's love? Is it when you're with me...?'_

"I-I've missed you so much!" He declared fiercely as he frowned and grinned genuinely at the same time through the tears.

The pain of parting was nothing in comparison with the euphoria of reuniting...In this royal moment, under the diamonds of the stars which were shining with a refined and resplendent light, time didn't count.

Because the little stray kitten was found.

* * *

**L'amour brille sous les étoiles huh? They parted at night, they reunited at night...**

**Read this before you scream at me bloody murder for stopping it there. XD**

I deliberately avoided Nami and the crew reactions', because it'd ruin the moment. (Wait for the next chapters x)

This is where the story splits up in two. I'll update not one but two chapters from now on, meaning two different plots and ends. Why? I couldn't decipher which end I liked the most–sucks for me, but cool for you, you get to choose! :) Kinda ambitious some would say; and for that, I'll tell you, I wrote a whole musical fic which was hard, and yet I finished it! :D

**Two routes:**

The first route's called: **Sundial**, which is the painfully romantic and shortest one. (I'm a big romantic, I blame it on the fact that I'm french–sbaff–) Ryuu is dead in this one. The importance of my oc's...I know, some don't like oc's, but they were needed...I mean without Shin Nami would've died right away and without Ryuu they would've never reunited. xD

The second route's called: **Tortured souls**, which clearly explains why it's a dark fic. Gory and horrific. In this one, there's the red lady and other characters.

There'll be some similarities but only at the beginning. I didn't put the tragedy genre in this fic because I don't find it tragic, but maybe you will.

If you understand the way I write...The more they suffer, the more they'll be rewarded, for it's called equivalent exchange. To gain something, you have to give up something of the same value. (FMA) **Without darkness there's no light and without coldness there's no warmth.**

So, which route will you take? **Sundial** or **Tortured souls? ;)**

**Though, I don't know what you expected when you started this story, but if you naively believe it's going to end with a hollywood-like end, you're so wrong...And I suggest you to stop reading and read instead amazingly beautiful and funny stories like, I dunno, Confession's or other LuNa writers' for your own good...I don't wanna make you feel like you've been betrayed or anything.**

**But if you continue reading, you won't be disappointed :3**

**See you next time! :D**


	10. Chapter 9: R1: Solar eclipse

**Note** : Congrats! You chose the _painfully_ romantic route! :) For this one, I was inspired by Japanese animated movies...

**T****he disease is the same in both routes. I just chose some symptoms over others. (This disease allows me to do that, it's so scary.)**

Okay, for this route, Ryuu's dead, but I didn't kill him for fun... My Oc's aren't there for nothing...Remember his complete name...Small meteor/ shooting star. ;)

"_Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,  
and I say it's alright, little darling,  
it's been a long cold lonely winter,  
little darling, it seems like years since its been here..."_

_(Here comes the sun – The Beatles)_

_**Sundial:** Chapter 9: Solar eclipse_

"I-I've missed you so much!"

_'We've been too long apart, Nami!'_

Nami heard this too familiar voice call out for her, crying out those words to her; they were spinning in her head... She could even felt a warm touch...It felt so...Real, and it frightened her to no end, her whole body shuddered...It couldn't be true. It just couldn't...Her mind was playing tricks..._Again_.

"No..." She rasped very quietly as her body began to tremble, "Can't be..." In the spur of the moment she shoved away whatever was around her with all her little strength left in her, "NO!" She shrieked with a broken voice, "SHIN! SHIN! SHIN!" She repeated as loudly as she could, covering her ears with two quivery hands and feeling some tears surfacing, "SHIN! SHIN! _SHIN!_" She called desperately as she tried to get up and staggered with her weak legs towards...Somewhere else.

Suddenly, the warm atmosphere was colder than a blizzard.

Luffy who had fallen on his back stared at her scarred face. He felt angry and truly surprised because she had pushed him, pained too; he had only reacted with a gasp...But now he was utterly confused.

For the very first time, Monkey D. Luffy was terrorized by the sight of his navigator.

Enlightened by the moon, he could see her entire face and body. She had lost quite a bit of weight, he wondered if she had eaten enough...She looked so pale, her voice still wasn't the soft tune he used to know, it was even worse now that he could hear it clearly–a broken and weak timber, twisted in strain... And...And her eyes...

They had no gleam in them, they were completely glassy and they couldn't focus; they couldn't find him.

What was happening?! No, what happened to her?! Why did she look like that?!

Nami's eyes hadn't this peculiar light he loved.

Why his limbs wouldn't respond?!

There was a numb feeling enveloping him.

His own eyes widened as he gaped in disbelief, the tears still trailing down. "...N...Nami...?" He hiccuped, "Nami?!" He shouted.

The sound of two cups of green tea crashing on the ground resounded, followed by hurried steps. Before he could turn his head, someone dashed past the boy frozen on the spot and took her in his arms as her knees gave up on her, "I'm here," murmured the man with silver hair, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you to get us some tea," He frowned deeply as she cried even harder in his hold, "I'm here Nami."

"I...I... _Again_...!"

He patted her head, "It's okay..."

She fainted due to the fright and went limp in the doctor's arms.

Her captain let out small throaty noises, causing the man to twitch and finally notice him. He turned his head to him, blinked several times and then drops of sweat rolled over his forehead as his pupils dilated...For he had realized who it was...The straw-hat, the stitched scar under the eye...

The same boy on Nami's precious picture.

"_Who are them?"_

"_You remember the friends I told you about? It's them...My family..."_

Nether of them knew what to do...

The doctor gulped, more than astounded by what was happening, "Y-You...Know her...Right?" Was all he managed to say with fear leaking in his voice.

The straw-hatted boy, whose mind had shut down only gave a small nod as his last tear stained an iced flower.

"F-Follow me...?"

* * *

_**Nami's room...**_

Luffy was holding his navigator's hand tightly, knelt down while she was laying down in a bed, sleeping. The only source of light was the flame of a wee candle. His eyes were fixed on her–bloodshot red orbs, for they were still wide in shock and he couldn't blink–his jaw was clenched so tensely as if he was going to crunch his teeth inside his mouth and his mind was spinning due to his slowly rising fever, he was succumbing to dizziness.

As a matter of fact, he couldn't talk, or move; just stare at Nami in silence, paralyzed; inapt to let go of her.

Being together was what granted him pure happiness, he had dreamed of this moment since she left and his heartbeat was growing ever so faster, yet he felt it was going to break...He was drowning in confusion.

He was so scared for her. Happy and glad, worried and sad, what the hell?

Observing her with a feeling of déjà vu, the persistent and bloodcurdling presentment was engulfing his heart and after nearly four months, it had come back more than ten-folds.

The silver-haired ossan named Shinsetsu had looked afraid of him, he had left silently like that...Just who was he? Why Nami was begging for his help? Why did a stranger know more than he did?

Nami's mask and inability to be honest...Was it only for her nakamas?!

All those lies caused an inflammation in his head; it was a feverish love, a chaotic romance...

He didn't see that right behind him, Shin brought up a syringe and planted it right through his neck.

* * *

He panicked okay? Taishi Shinsetsu was really troubled...And hurting. Today's events were just atrocious. His son died after fulfilling his dream; playing his greatest melody in front of an audience to pay homage to Hoshi...Ryuu had no regrets...Whereas Shin did...If only he had been a better father, or a better doctor, more severe and authoritarian...Perhaps–He couldn't help but blame himself, even though Chie told him that fate couldn't be changed...

And now, Nami's (the woman he considered as family) friend was here, surely coming to get her back. He wasn't selfish, he knew where she truly belonged, but she had said that she could never return to her family, for she would interfere with their dreams.

In fact, he was happy to see that her family cared a lot for her...He was glad she had a loving family...But it was making it so difficult.

He went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of sake, then made his way to Ryuu's favorite spot.

He greedily drank half of it as his face contorted into a dark, yet sad frown. He hiccuped, sobbed, then broke down into silent cries. No, he hadn't found the courage to tell her friend the truth.

Also, he knew if this man was here, there was a high probability her other friends would be. Tomorrow, he would have to talk to Nami, this was going to be a long day.

Until then, he'd mourn his son alone.

* * *

_**The next day, 9 a.m...**_

Shin went to see the straw-hatted man who he had carried to Ryuu's empty bedroom, and let him there. He was still asleep...And that reassured him, his drugs were effective. But he locked the door until he had Nami's answer.

Then, he walked to her bedroom, bringing her breakfast on a tray, her favorite, tangerine jam with some bread and coffee, he knew her quite well by now. "Hello Nami," He said gently, "How are you?"

His patient slowly woke up and as she sat up, she said, "Shin, my hallucinations are getting worse."

"Why?" He asked as he put some jam on a piece of bread.

"I keep hearing things which aren't there...I was so scared yesterday night."

He delicately brought it up to her mouth, "Open your mouth," He ordered softly.

She ate in silence, oblivious to his face saddening by the minute.

"And about that–" He began, but she cut him off.

"Shin, I'm really sorry to be a burden." She said, her voice full of chagrin, "You must be devastated with Ryuu's demise...And I'm bothering you." She cracked down.

He shook his head, "You're not. How many times do I have to tell you? And...That's what Ryuu wanted, he died happily...Please, let's talk about something else." He almost pleaded.

She smiled sadly when she felt his hand grabbing hers, "What did you want to say?"

The doctor took a deep breath and squeezed her hand, "Nami. Yesterday night, it wasn't a hallucination. He was there. Monkey D. Luffy was there."

It took a long time for the orange-haired to snap out of her utterly shocked state.

Nami's world was completely, totally pitch black since quite a bit of time now. But when he said that, her heart pulsed with fear...And happiness. In all this darkness, there was still a tiny glow, and it was _his_ sunny smile. She could almost see it in her mind. So...He didn't give up on her and chased after her all this time? The others were surely there too. It filled her with pure merriment...

But she couldn't forget what she had become.

Tears began to fall on their own.

Her family loved her, and she loved all of them back...They shouldn't have pursued her...They couldn't see her now...! They should have never seen her like that. She had wanted them to hate her, it would have been her biggest success...Knowing Luffy, he would not let her escape ever again now.

She really hated herself in that moment, did the crew suffer because of her? Did he? And Shin too...

"What do we do Nami?" Question Shin, biting his lips.

"I...I can't confront him." She sobbed, "I don't know...!"

"I could use my medicines, make him forget he found you and kick him out of this island." He proposed, his voice trying to be firm.

"No!" She replied instantaneously, "Now I know Luffy would continue to look for me, instead of accomplishing his dreams...I don't want that. But...I'm afraid that I can't face him." She sniffled.

"I'll talk to him."

She shook her head in disapproval, "No, I'll do it. I must do it. I just need some time."

"How long..?"

The orange-haired patient was hesitating, "I don't know."

"Listen up Nami...I understand why you ran away. It was very noble and selfless of you. It showed you love them and would sacrifice yourself for them... _But_...I also understand their point of view. Losing someone without being able to say 'goodbye' face to face, and after missing this person dear to you every day...It can be unbearable and truly painful...I think they deserve to know."

"I'm certain that their rancor, or anger, if they even feel that, will vanish the moment they saw you. As for you, don't you want to be with them until the end? Don't lie to me and reply sincerely."

Deep, deep inside...There was this selfish wish of hers,"I really want to be with them!" She exclaimed as she burst into tears.

He patted his head, a very soft and caring touch, "Then...Should I go get him, or them?"

She hiccuped as she sniffled, "Yes."

Shin pulled her to him and gave her a tender hug, "I'll come back soon, okay?" He got up, smiled a little which lightened up his sad features and walked to the door, then opened it. He paused when she called out behind.

"Shin?"

"Hmm?" He looked over his shoulder to see a grin blooming.

"Thank you so much..."

"Never mind!" He replied, chuckling as he closed the door.

Nami's heartbeat was racing, it was aching too... She wanted to run and hug Luffy if she could, yet still a part of her wanted to flee away, but she was trapped here, in this weak body of hers, inapt to move and walk properly without someone anyway. She had always hated being treated as a weakling and if she still could today, she'd fend for herself...But now she had to swallow her pride.

'_I can't do anything...'_

She couldn't go anywhere, what would the crew do with her?

_'I'm useless...'_

...Would they ever forgive her?

_'Would he?'_

She had missed them so much...But they arrived when she was on her deathbed. Time wasn't healing anything.

* * *

_**On the Sunny Go...**_

Under pressure, Shin walked nervously towards a huge ship with a lion's head. He gasped when he peered at the flag standing out victoriously–A Jolly Roger.

Pirates...So Nami lied to him, she wasn't a sailor.

Remembrance of his old wild life crossed his eyes for a split of a second, same for a ghost of a smile, but he disregarded it and proceeded forwards, balling his fists.

Once on the deck, he was greeted and soon surrounded by seven persons, some even armed, looking exhausted and pissed off (howbeit they seemed forlorn too). His suspicions were proved, all her friends came...

"Who're you? What are you doing here?" Questioned a green-haired man with a threatening voice, visibly annoyed to see this dude (who had some guts though, he surely saw they were pirates) instead of their captain who had run who knew where.

"Good morning. I'm Taishi Shinsetsu, nice to meet you. You're Nami's friends, I presume...?" It wasn't really a question, he more or less stated it with a lightly shaky voice.

Usually, answering a question by another one was annoying but _this_, caught the mugiwaras off guards. Some involuntary held their breath with their eyes widening, others gasped or gaped like fishes out of their bowls.

There was a stupefied silence for awhile as they watched wordlessly the silver-haired man with puffy and red eyes announcing the most unexpected news.

"I came to get you, Monkey D. Luffy's already with her." He continued deadly serious as he exactly knew who was who, Nami had told him many things about them, the man with the three golden earrings was Roronoa Zoro and he was indebted to death to her, the cyborg called Franky was in the perverted trio with Sanji the blonde cook and the living skeleton Brook, Nico Robin was one of the smartest women on earth, the long-nosed boy Usopp was close to her and Tony Tony Chopper the reindeer was indeed cute...

Monkey D. Luffy. She used to talk so highly of him, and so often too. He hoped he hadn't woken up yet.

Due to their ineptitude to speak, he grew more worried,"Come with me?"

The words finally sank in.

In a flash all the mugiwaras jumped over the railings, desperately eager to see their long lost nakama.

"_LET'S_ _HURRY!_" They screamed to him beseechingly with expressions mixed with incomprehension, surprise and sheer relief.

...And with ashamed features too, they had been trying so hard to bring their captain's mind back, because they thought he had gone mad due to Nami's departure–he deeply cared for his crew, but this strong bond worked both ways–and didn't believe him.

Stepping down.

Luffy wasn't the type of person to say arrogantly, _"I told you."_

...Still, they felt really bad, but intense joy was taking away this heavy feeling they had been tormented by since the beginning of their "quest".

Wide and merry grins flourished as warm tears of happiness built up in their eyes.

Standing up!

* * *

_**Meanwhile, in Ryuu's bedroom...**_

Luffy opened one eye, and then the other before rubbing them as he slowly sat up. He looked around and frowned, where was he...?

He attempted to stand up, but his legs felt weird, same for his mind which was in a daze...Had he been drugged? He recalled what happened before being here.

Nami...He found her, hugged her and then she pushed him away with scary eyes...After he was kneeling down besides her unconscious body...And then what?

He staggered towards the door, but his knees gave up on him mid-way.

"Nami...!"

* * *

_**Heiwa village...**_

"PIRATES!" Shrieked someone.

"RETURN TO WHERE YOU CAME!"

"DON'T YOU DARE HURT ANY VILLAGER!"

"OH MY ODA, THEY TOOK SHIN AS A HOSTAGE!"

Said person waved his arms nervously, "Don't worry! They're not bad people! They're with me!"

"We're not here for any troubles we swear!" Said Usopp very fastly.

The villagers seemed to calm down, for they all trusted Shin, but really, was it a habit of him to bring strangers on this island?

On their way to the doctor's house, Sanji tried to sound casual but he was very bugged by this question, "Hey, how do you know Nami-san, the shithead and us?"

He deliberately avoided his eyes and looked down, "I only know Nami. But she told me many things about you all." He hesitantly added, "I'll answer all your questions when we'll arrive to my house, okay?"

* * *

_**In Shin's house...**_

The silver-haired man cringed when he opened Ryuu's bedroom's door and saw Luffy on the flooring, awake, the drugs still effective but most of all, the ferocity in his eyes as he caught his leg.

"Where's Nami?!" He screeched, growling.

"She's in her bedroom, don't worry she won't go anywhere," He said with a soft voice while he helped him to get up, "C'mon let's go, Monkey D. Luffy."

"How do you know my name?! And is this you who did something to my body?! I wanna see Nami _now_!"

Just awake and he was already bombarding him with questions... "Just follow me."

They arrived to the living room, and he let Luffy sit down on the couch, before the consternating eyes of the mugiwaras, who frowned severely when they saw their captain looking dizzy.

"Oi, what did you do to him? You said he was with Nami." Inquired Zoro as he unsheathed his katana unconsciously.

"Yesterday night he wouldn't calm down, I had to use some medicines, but I guess the dose was a little too strong. As for Nami, she was...Tired, so I sent both of them to sleep." He replied simply, though he was pretty nervous and feeling bad, awkward too. He braced himself.

"Now listen to me. I take you to Nami, only if you promise to not scream or yell at her, let alone scold her for her actions and choices. If you do, I fucking swear I_'ll kick your sorry asses._"

Yes, Shin could be scary too, only when it involved the people he cared about. It was a part of him that he preferred to hide, most of the time. There was a menacing aura as he announced such words, and his glare shot daggers at the mugiwaras.

They nodded without knowing why, and they followed him until he stopped in front of a bedroom. He gently knocked on it, "Nami? It's me, erm, all your friends are here."

Silence.

"Nami?" He knocked one more time and behind him, Luffy was struggling to stay motionless instead of barging inside. _All_ his nakamas were exhausting their patience.

"Come in." Her voice was different and the mugiwaras wondered...

Shin opened the door and let them enter while he stood up at the entrance as he lowered his eyes to the flooring.

The mugiwaras knew resentment, rancor and somehow a bit of hatred towards their lost navigator. But they knew that if she left them, she had her reasons, so they suppressed those horrible feelings and preferred to grin and be overjoyed, for that was how strong their friendship was. Everything would be explained later...Maybe sooner than they thought.

"Nami-swan!" Exclaimed Sanji, grinning from ear to ear.

"Nee-san!" Franky shed a few 'manly' tears.

"Nami-san!" Brook's voice was yohohoing again, and he brought up his guitar mindlessly, as if he was going to play Bink no Sake.

"Nami!" Shouted Usopp, feeling his vision watering as he retrieved his best friend.

"Wahhh! Nami!" Cried out Chopper, whose eyes were similar to Niagara falls.

"Witc–Nami!" Zoro couldn't help the smirk which spread on his face.

"Nami!" Robin wasn't crying, it was_ only_ the light. But her serious composure was breaking down...

"Nami." Called Luffy, slightly less happy than the others, for unlike them, he witnessed something just too dreadful to put it into words...He was so worried...

They all saw her, sitting up on her bed with her long orange hair, the sun rays were passing throughout the window, giving it a pretty glow, in spite of the fact it looked a bit dull. She smiled sadly, and her eyes were shut tight. Next to her, there were many sunflowers on the bedside table.

There was something off with this warm atmosphere...They shuddered.

She couldn't help but shake a little, it was them...It _really_ was them... "You guys...Luffy." She whispered more to herself as she could feel the tears appearing again.

"Nami, I leave you with them, okay?" Said Shin, feeling he was intruding something, as if it wasn't his place to be there, among them.

"No! Please stay," She pleaded, making Luffy frown–he needed to know what was going on between those two.

They all gathered around her bed, smiling as best as they could, but one question was blocked in their minds, _'Why are her eyes closed?'_

"Nami, open your eyes." Commanded Luffy, a hint of fear in his voice.

She sighed, "I can't. Not before I explain everything to you."

There was a long silence after that.

"Nami, I still can do it for you if you want..." Proposed softly Shin.

She shook her head vehemently, "No. I'll be the one to tell you guys...Why I left." Her voice was weak, and they almost couldn't recognize it. She couldn't hide it from them anymore, she had to face them, right now.

They all froze on the spot, awaiting her answer desperately. They had often wondered what it could be, killing themselves while doing it, this moment was just unbelievable...As for Shin, he took off his glasses, for he didn't want to see their faces after that.

They saw her body trembling as she began to sob, "Why did you chase after me...?" She questioned, her heart aching terribly because she _really_ didn't want to say it, "Why didn't you give up on me...? We should have never met again..." She wailed, causing the mugiwaras to wince as the merry moment shattered into pieces.

Luffy grabbed her hand all of a sudden, putting too much fore into his grip which made her flinch, "Don't you dare say that!" He squeezed it, "Nami, don't you know how much you mean to us? To me?" He asked, his voice softening, yet his heartbeat was irregular.

His touch sent shivers down her spine, a warm and overwhelming feeling took over her...She felt loved and it made her blurt out the truth, her dark secret;

"I'm terminally ill."

The mugiwaras' hearts nearly stopped, Luffy's included.

"I've been diagnosed with a disease called Higanbana. It's an incurable degenerative brain disorder..." She began, and her voice weakened as she continued, her tears streaming down once again, "It's fatal. And..."

"I've only got one month left to live."

Her head hung down as she bit her lips, "I didn't want to tell you. I never wanted to make you suffer or sad, you should have continued without me...I...I love you guys too much...I would have been a burden to you."

Eight hearts broke in unison. This was far worse than a sucker punch; they felt it impaling them, taking their hearts with it and crushed them with a grip made of steel. Out of all the reasons they had imagined, they had never...Never...

Their reactions were mitigated.

Mortification; Usopp's face became whiter than the snow and suddenly, all the words he wanted to say were blocked in his throat.

Despair; Franky's view was blurred by the tears of pain, they wouldn't stop and he didn't find the words to say either.

Desolation; The musician of the crew had no facial muscles, but his attitude expressed what he felt, he let his skull hang down and released his guitar, which broke when it met the flooring. "...Nami-san..." He whispered.

Anguish; Chopper's wails were similar to a child's, between his sobs, he cried loudly, "I must do something...! I've trained for two years I...I..."

Horror; Sanji's pupils had shrank into pinpoints and his fists were quavering, his cigarette had fallen off his mouth, and he blanched as he clutched his chest. "No..."

Terror; Robin's usual poker face shattered as her brown eyes widened, tears welling up in them, a rare display of emotions which spoke volumes. "It's...Atrocious."

Failure; The swordsman tried with all his might to pretend to be tough, but his strong and proud chest, usually a straight and unflinching structure, bent down as his lips were parting in incredulity.

And...Denial; Luffy grasped her shoulders and commenced to shake her violently, "Nami you're joking right?! That's _your_ reason why you left us?! You're lying, please tell me its not true! I'm _begging you, open your eyes and tell me all of that are lies!_" He cried out.

She did open her once burgundy orbs, but it didn't change a single thing, everything was dark around her.

She was totally blind.

"Luffy, I'm dying."

* * *

I know the crew's reactions are totally similar but I couldn't change that xD

And they had to know straightaway...

**If you found out Nami's disease, please keep it secret!**


	11. Chapter 9: R2: Veritable emotion deficit

**Note** : Congrats! You chose the disturbing and fucked up route! :D I was deeply influenced by my dark tastes I'd say...But I consider OP as a dark manga. For example, do you know why Luffy never kills his enemies? It's because he doesn't want to be a murderer yeah...But also because he thinks that seeing your dreams getting crushed before your eyes is a fate worse than death. Ahaha, Odachi said it xD Ryuu's alive here!

**T****he disease is the same in both routes. I just chose some symptoms over others. (This disease allows me to do that, it's so scary.)**

"_With your feet in the air and your head on the ground,_

_try this trick, spin it, yeah,_

_you head will collapse but there's nothing in_

_and you'll ask yourself; where is my mind?" _

_(Where is my mind – Emily Browning, sucker punch version)_

_**Tortured Souls**: Chapter 9: Veritable emotions deficit_

"I-I've missed you so much!"

Nami's dark eyes went wide as she felt a shiver running down her spine. Her mind just couldn't comprehend what was going on, why he had jumped on her, why he was crying and sobbing such words on her shoulder, why he was embracing her ever so strongly.

She was frightened.

Her entire body and soul began to shake;

"Who?" She rasped quietly as her hands slowly reached out...

Luffy stilled and sucked in his breath sharply, his ears weren't working properly, weren't they? _'W...What?'_

Before the raven-haired could know it, he was pinned to the ground, with her on top of him...She scratched his cheek, making it bleed, then encircled his throat with her quavery hands. His pupils dilated as he got a full view of her, illuminated by the moon; she looked thinner than before and her eyes were darker, not the burgundy shade he loved too see, there was no light in them...And also, his throat was starting to hurt.

What. Was. Happening?!

"Who?" She repeated with a harsher voice, her hands gradually tightening her grasp, "Who?!" She nearly shouted as her face turned somber.

The straw-hatted was utterly shocked, his arms had released her almost immediately; but he was...Scared to death too. In her eyes full of shadows, all he could see was intense hatred, like he was the most vile person on Earth. And...And she acted as if she didn't know him. And she was trying to kill him.

_WHAT WAS HAPPENING?!_

"WHO?!" She shrieked with her broken and weak timber, a tune which was alien to him.

He stammered with fear leaking in his voice, agape, "N-Nami...It's me, Luffy–"

"I DON'T KNOW YOU! YOU WANT TO HURT ME!" She spat out, strangling him with all her little strength left in her.

_'He wants to hurt me. He wants to hurt me. He wants to kill me!'_ Were the words which kept repeating endlessly in her head.

For the first time ever, the captain of the mugiwara pirates was terrorized by his navigator...No, this just wasn't her. His own thoughts were a mess; this love was so brutally distorting his inner voices and as finding oxygen became difficult, the shared warmth was now similar to an ice-cold shower.

Could he believe it? Did she truly didn't know–remember who he was?

Her trembling hands continued to threaten his life.

She forgot about him...?!

A wave of dread washed over him, a bloodcurdling feeling numbing his mind.

The tears were still running down and he was too dumbstruck to move even an inch. Also, he would never retaliate against her... Struggling to breathe powerlessly, he glanced at her face once again with one single eye. An evil smirk was curving her mouth upwards. This was her body, but this was not_ his_ Nami. Where was she?!

He was horrified.

"N-Nami," He choked out, "N-N-Nami..." He sobbed, gasping for air, as he lifted his hand to cup her cheek but he stopped mid-way when she hissed like a wild kitten.

He heard a scream in the background, then suddenly her menacing claws were no longer choking him, though his chest was deeply hurting. He blinked and panted slightly, in spite of his freed throat, he still couldn't breathe...He turned his head to the side, blinked again when he saw she had fallen into the arms of a man with silver hair and he held a syringe in his hand.

Their eyes met.

Anguish, pain and terror faced utter panic.

Shin bit his lips, what had she done...Then he realized something–a fact which made him become pale as he sweated. The straw-hat, the stitched scar...Nami's friend smiling on her picture frame.

It had been a long time since she had talked about them, but he was sure it was him. Holly shit. He terribly regretted to have listened to to her, instead of acting as the doctor he was.

"_You know Nami, I could perform a lobotomy, like that, this, will go away."_

"_I don't want to become a vegetable..._"

His face darkened, he should have done it...

Luffy had only the time to shed his last tear as the man called someone–a little boy arrived running as fast as he could and hugged Nami–then hurried towards him and pressed with all his might on his Vegas nerve.

Everything went black for him.

* * *

_**Ryuu's room...**_

"N-Ne, you didn't kill him, right Shin?" Asked with a stutter Ryuu, casting a worried glance at he unconscious boy on the bed with a bandage on his cheek.

"Of course not, he's just sleeping, I just...Panicked, okay?" Replied his foster father who attempted to stay calm, but the light quaver in his voice bespoke him.

The violinist opened his mouth to say something, but he got interrupted.

"He's Nami's friend." Announced Shin all of a sudden, his eyes darting to the flooring.

"...What?"

"Che, what's up with the ruckus? I'd like to sleep!" Barked Chie as he flew inside, then halted when he saw his 'owner' blanching, his golden orbs shifted to the raven-haired then back to them, "...Who's that? Did I miss something?"

"He's Monkey D. Luffy, one of Nami's friends, you know, in her group of sailors..." Answered Shin, his lips slightly trembling. Oh, how many times she had spoken of him, recalling all their adventures...

"We're in deep shit." Stated Chie.

"Language!" Scolded the doctor, furrowing his brows, "And stating the obvious won't get us anywhere, if he came all the way here, there's a high probability he didn't come alone, perhaps all her friends are on the island."

"I take back what I said, we're not in deep shit only, we're fucked."

Ryuu regained his composure but frowned a little, "Why do you say that? If they're her friends, they won't be angry at her, or at us." A small smile spread on his face, "They found her, on this unnoticeable island and it's been four months she's been there, meaning four months of searching for them. They care a lot about her, like a family does."

Shin massaged his forehead, "It's not that the problem. Nami's been paranoid for quite a bit of time, you've seen her aggressive behavior...You didn't see how she attacked him though. And...She was screaming that she didn't know him...Her disease had messed up with her brain." He paused for awhile;

"And also, how can we tell her friends that she's dying?" He broke down.

"Nami doesn't want that, we'd betray her!" Yelled Chie, "I could use my powers and they'd go back to where they came–" He proposed, but Ryuu stepped up.

"No! They deserve to know! What about their feelings?!" He pointed at Luffy, "Look at him, he pursued her after all this time, we can't just tell him to go back or prevent him from seeing her! Guys... For example, if I died tomorrow,"

"Don't you dare finish that!" Barked Shin, frightened at the thought.

"If I died tomorrow, no matter what state I'm in, I'd wish you would be there around me. We only live once, we only die once, and I'd want to die with my loved ones, it'd be a happy ending for me."

"I'm certain that deep down, Nami thought the same."

The silver-haired man took off his glasses, feeling a few tears building up, "We...We'll tell him, or them, tomorrow. But right now, we should go to sleep, you in particular," He sobbed, "What a stressful day,..."

Ryuu grinned weakly, "I won't die so easily ossan! Moreover, you were here for me, I'm alright I swear! And you saw my trophy, it's so shiny...! Yup I'm going to sleep with Nami-nee, but can you make me a hot cocoa before?" He asked candidly, though inwardly he was also scared about all of this, he imagined how would react this Luffy guy...

Shin smiled softly but didn't bother to wipe the tears away, "I can do that."

"Oh! Make me some too!"

"Chie, one day you'll explain to me how can an owl drink cocoa."

* * *

_**The next day, 10. a.m on the Sunny-Go...**_

In the kitchen, there was a deathly silence reigning and the plates were untouched, the mugiwaras were worried sick and the lump in their throat was growing bigger by the minute, as if they were suffocating.

"So," Zoro broke the silence, but not the heavy atmosphere, "Who's going to get Luffy?"

Their captain hadn't come back, he was probably still looking for her on the island desperately...Due to his pride, or because he couldn't bear to give up on a nakama, they all knew that.

Usopp closed his eyes for a whole good minute as he sighed before opening them, "Maybe we should go together."

"Want me to use my haki?" Suggested Sanji, also saturating the air with sighs.

"No need, Sanji-san. This island seems very small, besides you exhausted yourself yesterday."

"Che, you're weak, dartboard."

Translation in Zoro's language; _you should rest._

"Oh, urusei shitty swordsman..."

And in the blond chef's; _I'm alright._

* * *

It was a peaceful morning for Toby the fisherman, as always, he had taken his fishing tools and a bucket. He was going to fish some tunas while enjoying the fresh air and the sun shining in the cloudless sky~

He stilled, a horrified look on his features the moment he saw a huge ship with a lion's head as the prow, and the black flag being blown gloriously by the wind.

A Jolly Roger.

"PIRATES!" He yelled as he spun around rapidly, leaving his belongings there, "PIRATES!"

He dashed towards Heiwa, chanting the same word.

* * *

_**Meanwhile, in Shin's cottage...**_

Shin took a deep breath, and then pushed the door of her bedroom with his back, for he was bringing her breakfast on a tray; her favorite, slice of bread with tangerine jam accompanied with a cup of coffee, a few tranquilizer pills next to it.

"Hello Nami," He said gently as he placed it on her bedside table, "How are you feeling?" He asked, feeling bad for yesterday night, he had injected to her a strong dose of morphine and to be sure she wouldn't go berserk today, he had to give her more drugs.

She had never been violent with her new family though, but it wasn't for them the doctor was worried.

"Shin. Who was that boy with the straw hat?" She questioned, a little dizzy.

Said person twitched, then took her picture frame, deciding he had to prove his suspicions..."Nami, tell me who are these persons...?"

Her gaze switched to what he was holding, her brows dipped together and she finally answered;

"I don't know them."

He winced, "Not at all?"

"No." Was her blunt reply.

And the doctor understood...In her ill-fated heart, her friends didn't exist anymore...She was suffering from severe amnesia...She often forgot where she was, what she was doing but because he never asked, he hadn't known...That her friends were no longer in her mind too. He should have. She ceased talking about them surely because a part of her subconscious had wanted to let go of them–It must have hurt too much for her, and her disease took over this.

He wanted to cry.

"Why did you try to hurt him Nami?"

"_He_ wanted to kill me."

"He didn't...Nami, the people on this picture, they're your friends."

"No. I don't know them."

This was going to be so difficult.

* * *

_**Ryuu's bedroom...**_

Luffy woke up as the sun rays tickled his skin. He opened one eye, then the other and found he was in an unknown room, watched over by a boy with dark blue hair and a white owl on his shoulder. He grunted, slowly sat up as he rubbed his eyes.

"Where am I...?" He asked to himself, "...Ah! Where's Nami? What happened?! Hey you! Tell me!"

He recalled her strangling him, not remembering him and it hurt...So much. Like a nightmare. He had the incapability to believe it.

The boy in front of him flinched, just awake and he already was overreacting... "I'll tell you, but before, answer me...Did you come here with other people?"

The straw-hat bearer blinked, what a dumb question, "Of course! We all came to get her back!"

He smiled sadly now, "..."

The owl turned to him, "As I said, it'd be much simpler if I used my powers!"

Luffy frowned, "Did you just talk? Anyway, who are you, you two?"

Both of the strangers were taken aback, _'He can see him (me)!'_ "I'm Chisaii Ryuusei and this is...Chie–"

"PIRATES! PIRATES!" Shrieked someone beneath the window.

* * *

_**In Heiwa village...**_

"Stand back, pirates!" Spat out an old man with a crowbar.

"We won't let you hurt anyone!"

"Go back to wherever you came!"

Truthfully, they were totally frightened by the seven persons in front of them; they looked harmful, pissed off, yet, there was a gloomy aura around them.

"Oi chill out, we're not there for that kind of shit." Snapped drily Zoro, scratching the back of his head.

"We won't cause any troubles!" Reassured Chopper, waving his hooves.

"We only want to find someone, we'll go back right after." Said Robin, crossing her arms.

A scared man took a step forwards hesitantly among the crowd, "D..Does he wear a straw-hat?"

"That's mugiwara yeah! Do know where he is?" Questioned the cyborg whose hair was down, feeling un-super like everyone else.

He pointed towards a hill, "He went to the doctor's house."

* * *

"PIRATES!"

Shin gulped hard, pirates...Could they be Nami's friends...? Oh Oda. If it was them, knowing her they couldn't be bad guys, but he was really panicking. He heard a knock on the front door.

A shudder crawled on his back...

_'Damn, get a grip!'_

He braced himself but he was scared shitless as he went to open the door, then faced seven persons...The same on her picture, nonetheless they weren't smiling or happy as they seemed on it, no, they looked very tired.

"...Hello..."

* * *

_**At the same time, in Ryuu's bedroom...**_

"PIRATES!"

Ryuu's face went white.

"Oh, it's my crew!" Luffy smiled a bit, "They must be near this place!"

In front of him, the violinist only gaped in silence.

"...So you didn't answer to me. Where's Nami? I had a...Bad dream about her and–" He trailed off as his gaze encountered a mirror on his side, he had a bandage where she had scratched him in his nightmare and red marks around his neck...His pupils shrank, "...NAMI! I NEED TO SEE HER!" He screeched as he got up form the bed, and proceeded towards the door.

Ryuu shook his head then shouted, "HEY WAIT!"

* * *

_**In the living room...**_

The twelve actors were present, except for Nami who was still hidden in her bedroom. Shin, Ryuu and Chie were nervous and shaking, the mugiwaras looked at Luffy with forlorn expressions, nearly crestfallen, and the gomu gomu no user was completely lost and confused.

"Luffy, stop bothering these guys and let's go." Said Usopp, frowning.

"We're sorry for the disturbance." Apologized the archeologist, glancing at the silver-haired man.

"W-Wait no, Nami's here!" Stammered Luffy.

Shin cleared his throat, making everyone turn to him, "I think we all should sit down, and relax with a cup of tea, we have some explanations to do," He hesitated to finish his sentence and paused...

Seeing he wasn't going to end it, Sanji said, slightly pissed, "We don't, we came to get our stubborn captain and leave–"

"NAMI IS TRULY HERE." Blurted out Ryuu, for he couldn't bear all this pressure any longer.

Time stood still.

The mugiwaras lost their ability to speak as their eyes went as wide as saucers. Some involuntary held their breath, other gasped or gaped like fishes out of their bowl. There only was a stupefied silence as they all gawked, even Robin, at him.

The words finally sank in.

They turned their heads to Luffy who was trembling then, surely from suppressed will to run to her and see her, as if standing there motionlessly was a torture. He glanced at them too, but he never was the kind of person to say with a voice full of arrogance,_ "I told you." _he just harbored an unreadable expression.

They veritably felt ashamed, for they hadn't believed in him... Yet so glad at the same time, their captain's obstinacy did bring them to her...They would reunite!

"Please, sit down, I'm going to make some tea and coffee."

* * *

"So..Hum, my name's Taishi Shinsetsu; and before we let you see her, we have to explain many things to you–" Began Shin as he brought to the table a tray with all the warm drinks.

"Screw this! Let us see her now!" Shrieked Luffy, slamming his fists onto the table. _'She...She didn't recognize me! She attacked me...Why?!' _His heart was pounding achingly...In fear.

The crew was also desperately eager to see their long lost nakama, Sanji's feet kept tapping rapidly the flooring, Franky was restraining some tears of joy, Usopp was drumming the table with his fingers, Chopper was swinging his legs hurriedly, he couldn't stop them from moving, Brook was ready to play Bink no Sake any time and the two most spiritual crewmates were as excited as everyone was deep inside.

"Oi, you should calm down." Snapped Chie, causing everyone to report their attention to him. The owl grew uneasy, "Eh...? You _all_ can see me?"

They nodded uncertainly.

Maybe because they were pirates? "Huh...Whatever, Shin," He called out, "Tell them." His voice weakened at the last part. As an emotionless shinigami, he sure failed.

The doctor swallowed_ very_ hard as he felt all their eyes falling upon him, burning him with their intense gazes due to the fact that he was the reason they couldn't see her _right now. _He sat down and took several deep breaths. This was a cruel duty, atrocious even, and it broke his heart to have to do it, for they seemed to really love her...

"I know who you are, she told many stories about you all...That's why before you can see her, I have to tell you the reason why she left you. She can't do it herself."

His hands were shaking as he took off his glasses, for without them he was like a mole and he didn't want to witness their happiness crashing down.

"But it's really difficult to say."

He still shut firmly his sapphire eyes.

"Firstly I know you might be furious against her, but she ran away like that because she thought that making you hate her would have been her biggest success. She didn't want you to pursue her because she loved–loves you. I hope you love her back enough to forgive her."

He bit his lips.

"Secondly, even if you want to, she can't leave this island."

This suspense was killing the mugiwaras, Luffy included; and those words worried them to no end, for they all knew, back to the day she left, that it had to be something serious.

"Nami..." His voice was shaking as he started to sob, "Nami's diagnosed with Higanbana..." He trailed off.

"Shin, you must do it." Whispered Ryuu, hiding his face with both of his hands though.

"It's a rare and degenerative brain disorder, we actually don't know how it's transmitted, it might be hereditary, it might be not." Tears were flowing down as his voice became quieter, "She's been struck with this for almost a year now, and she became paranoid and her memory is failing...She apparently forgot about you not too long ago, or mostly forgot everything...Because;"

He sniffled loudly, the more he explained, the more he broke down, "It's fatal. She entered the final stages of her terminal illness..."

"...S...She has approximately one month left to live."

Eight hearts broke in unison. This was far worse than a sucker punch; they felt an iron fist piercing their chests and clutching their hearts way too strongly and mercilessly. Out of all the reasons they had imagined, they had never...Never...

Their reactions were mitigated.

Mortification; Usopp's face became whiter than paraffin and he couldn't talk even a single word, for his throat was burning, he was suffocating.

Despair; Franky's view was blurred by the tears streaming down, they wouldn't stop and he didn't find the words to say either.

Desolation; The musician of the crew had no facial muscles, but his attitude expressed what he felt, he let his skull hang down and released mindlessly his guitar, which made a sound of something breaking when it met the flooring. "No...Nami-san..." He whispered, his pain leaking into his words.

Anguish; Chopper's wails were similar to a child's, between his sobs, he whined and pleaded, "Can't I do something...? I've trained for two years I...I..."

Horror; Sanji's pupils had shrank considerably and his fists were shaking, no cigarette would make him relax, nothing could stop him from paling and clutching his chest. "Shit..."

Terror; Robin's usual poker face shattered as her brown eyes widened, she leaned her elbows onto the table to rest her forehead on her palms of her hands and hide her frightened look, but her shoulders were trembling, a rare display of emotions which spoke volumes. "It's...Horrible..."

Failure; The swordsman tried with all he could to pretend to be tough, but his strong fierce chest, usually a straight and hard structure, bent down as his lips were parting in incredulity.

And...Denial; Luffy got up from his chair, his eyes shadowed by the brim of his hat and in the next instant he had grasped Shin's collar. He lifted up his head and the doctor saw tears welling up in his dark orbs. "It's not true! It can't be true! Tell me it's not true!" He said, his voice quavering as he shook him brutally, "You're joking and it's not funny!" He cried out, "_Please_, tell me you're lying! I'm begging you!"

Shin covered his face with one hand, sniffling and sobbing, "I'm sorry."

He released him and the doctor fell on his knees, then Ryuu grabbed Luffy's wrist and gestured a hand at the others, his amethyst eyes were glossy, "I'll take you to her." He murmured.

* * *

_**Nami's bedroom...**_

They all entered the room with devastated expressions, but Shin had given to her pills which numbed her mind and body, therefore she only looked at them devoid of any feeling. This woman looked like a pale imitation of their navigator, only the face was the same; her personality? Not at all. The atmosphere in the room was cold, despite the pretty sunflowers here and there.

"Who are you all?" She questioned without a single hint of emotion.

If you completely forgot someone, then this person was dead to you. All the mugiwaras knew that...It was fucking painful. With grieving faces, they gathered around her bed, unable to pronounce a word.

Luffy almost stopped breathing as he hugged her, crying in despair, as if his tears would reach her, move her ill-fated heart and bring her back to him...How was he supposed to convey what he was feeling now? Would he ever get the chance to?

They didn't find her on time...

Too late.

"What were we in your eyes Nami?! What was I?!"

* * *

**Yes I know the crew's reactions don't really change, no matter which routes you take...I can't change that ._.**

**Also, I'm sorry for the lateness, you see, I've been dealing with my insecuries in my writing skills...Like, I often wonder if my stories are worth to read, if I should get a beta reader, etc etc...Yeah...I'm still a rookie...**

**If you found out what her disease was, please don't say it! It must stay secret, otherwise there's no suspense anymore... And I just love this genre too much xD**


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